"World Revolution" Part 12 by NobodyAtAll

Part 11

Me and Marley fly up to the roof of Faucheuse Tower.

And see only the remains of Demon James and Demeter.

“Damn it! For a second, I could have sworn I saw Umbra up here with a demon fluffy.”

“Hu yu fink dat dee-mun fwuffy wuz, daddeh?”

“I dunno, Mar. If I had gotten a closer look, I could have recognized it.”

“Mebbeh it was dis timewine Umbwa.”

“I doubt that. The boys Down There wouldn’t turn him into a demon. The Death of Humans told me that they had considered it, but ultimately decided against it.”

“But… but mebbeh it nu wuz dem hu did it.”

…Oh, shit, I see what Marley’s getting at.

Please tell me this doesn’t mean what I THINK it means. Tell me Fate didn’t do it.

It means the Umbra problem just got twice as bad.

“Great. Now there’s two Umbras running around.”

“Mawwey nu am suw-pwized. Wen yu fink abowt it, it make sens.”

Little dude’s got a point, Cal. The ONE person Umbra could play nice with is HIMSELF.

Let’s just hope it’s only two. The last thing we need is a Citadel of Umbras.

Me and Marley fly back down.

There’s still demons to kill.

Down in the streets, the Morris Clan engages the Ianos Clan.

Sally and Esmeralda chase Jackie.



“What the hell is wrong with you two?!? I’m just a kid! You were never this bad when you were just vampires!”



“Absolutely not! From what I’ve heard, demon blood tastes terrible!



“Fine! Have it your way!”

Jack stops and turns around.

The two disturbingly lustful vampire demons close in on him.



And then Jackie whips out a gun and shoots them both in the heart with silver bullets.

As they burn up, the young dhampir smiles smugly. Those with vampiric powers can smile very smugly.

“Yeah, silver doesn’t do jack fucking shit to me, you stupid bitches. This is what happens when you can’t stop thinking about sex.”

Jackie takes a moment to shudder and retch.

“Disgusting, pedophilic demon vampire sex. Really, if I was old enough to have a libido, I still wouldn’t. That rotten egg stench isn’t doing you any favors. It’s called perfume, ladies, use some-- oh. They’re already gone.”

Jackie sees another vampire demon coming at him, the woman who was Chinese in life.

“Hi, Mei.”


“Bye, Mei.”

Meanwhile, Henry grapples with Ianos himself.


“We don’t have to win this fight… we just have to keep you busy…”


Ed the pretty boy, who is trying and, to his embarrassment, failing to kill Carmilla and Alfador, calls to his master.

"My Lord, we’ve got incomi–"


Ed is turned to ash by a sunbeam.

Yes, those vampire demons still have all the weaknesses of vampires, too. But since the Morris Clan is wearing Sun Pearls, and Jackie doesn’t have any of the vampire’s weaknesses, the sunbeams can’t harm them.

So don’t worry about Carmilla and Alfador getting hit by friendly fire.

When Ianos turns to Ed and sees the pretty boy’s destruction…


Henry socks him in the gut.

Ianos doubles over.

"Cheap shot, Morris!"

“I grew up in a rough neighborhood, in a bad time period. If you didn’t learn to fight dirty, you died.

As Ianos gets back up, and the rest of his Clan flees again, Samuel, Gabriel, and the five nephilim land, and Glenn, Sonia, Gizmo and Hunter walk up. Sonia, of course, is wielding her family’s ancestral silver chain whip, and Gizmo’s packing a sun gun, and pointing it at Ianos.

Cyrus points his heavenly Grandleon at Ianos too.

"No more running, Ianos. You’ve spent your entire unlife running and hiding, but it ends here and now."

"I’m not afraid of the light, bloodbag!"

Ianos pulls out a Sun Pearl and puts it on.

"The Boss gave me this! I OWN the night! And now I own the DAY, too!"

Socrates and Zorn emerge from a dark alleyway. Draaks can travel through shadows. If you’ve pissed off a draak, you’d better hide somewhere well-lit.

Socrates gives Ianos a menacing grin.

“How about the dark? Are you afraid of the dark? Because you should be, Ianos.”

So does Zorn.

“You think you own the night, bloodsucker? Please! We owned the night eons before the magician Vampire turned himself into the first of your kind! Oh yes, we know how vampires came to be.”

“Everything you do, we did first. I think humans have a word for people like that. What was it?”

“Oh, I know what the word is, Socrates: posers. That’s what you are, Ianos. We have no quarrel with Henry Morris and the other vampires of his ilk.”

“But you, sir, really piss us off. You and your sadistic spawn disgust even our kind.”

Ianos sneers at the duo, completely unaware of what they really are.

"Oh? And what IS your kind? Meddling old men and teenagers?"

Pierre’s scientist friend walks up, him and his grandson having overheard that remark.

“Fuburpck you too, buddy.”

“A vampire wizard demon? Seriously? Jeez, and I thought I’d seen s-some ridiculous shit back home.”

“Really puts things into belch perspective, d-doesn’t it?”

Then the old scientist and his grandson wander off again.

The two draaks in human bodies slowly shake their heads, while manifesting many shadowy limbs.

Socrates grins.

“We’re draaks. Have you never heard of us, Ianos?”

And so does Zorn.

“Because, believe me… the draaks have heard of you. And we don’t like what we’ve heard, Ianos…”

"Oh, shit."

Zhala struggles to stand, having been battered badly by the two shapeshifters in T-Rex form.

"This… this doesn’t make any sense… monkeys shouldn’t be able to DO things like this…"

Zhala reverts to demon dinotite form, falling on the ground.

Paul and Jake revert to human form, revealing Jake’s usual appearance: short, pudgy, and with yellow-orange hair and beard, and a matching battle suit.

Paul pulls out a gun, loaded with silver bullets.

“You’ve spent so long on Primal Earth, you have no idea what we’re capable of.”

Eira walks over.

“Any last word, Zhala?”

"It’s not fair…"

Eira glares down at Zhala.

“Oh, now Zhala think it no am fair! Zhala wanted eat all humans! Zhala wanted destroy all tribe! Zhala wanted both worlds for only dinotites! But you outsider now. No part of planet’s life anymore.”

"You… you’re right. We… we have no future. Our race is doomed."

“If living dinotites play nice, they no have to die.”

Zhala chuckles.

"You HAVE seen how stupid our race can be, right?"

Eira can’t help but laugh at that.

"Eira. I have one final request."

“What am it?”


“Take? What take?”

"Take care… of our world."

Eira smiles.

“Eira will, Zhala.”

"Good. Good. Now, shapeshifter. Use that contraption. It’s only fitting that my reign is ended by a human invention."

“No. Eira will do it. Give bang-bang to Eira.”

Eira learned that word for a gun from the feral herd living in Ioka Village, guns being otherwise unheard of on Primal Earth until Victor showed up.

Paul reluctantly hands the gun to Eira, and explains how to work it.

Eira takes aim, right between Zhala’s eyes.

Zhala closes his eyes, and just before he does, he sees the Deaths of Dinotites and Tyrannosaurus Rexes behind the humans, both Deaths grinning at him.

“Here go nothing…”


Not a bad shot for a first-timer.

When Nhiz sees his Emperor die again, he charges over to avenge him.



Only to be crushed by a car spat at him by Yoshi.

“Dat wun wuz fow owd daddeh.”

Lou and Tony smile.

“I think he’s Up There, looking down at you with tears of joy and pride in his eyes. You’ve come a long way, Yoshi.”

“I hope Papa and Mama feel the same way about us, Lou.”

“Hey, we’ve come a long way too. Remember when our lives were just about unclogging toilets and delivering manure? Now we’re superheroes, dealing with crazy shit like humanoid dinosaurs and wizard robots and demons. But we’re also still plumbers. It’s in our very souls, Tony.”

“Papa dealt with some crazy shit back in his day. Remember that story about the construction site and the escaped gorilla?”

“Yeah, he only told it a million times! I refuse to believe that the gorilla started throwing barrels at him.”

“It’s not that unbelievable, compared to all the shit we’ve seen. Look around, Lou.”

“Un-cuw Tonee haf gut a point dewe, daddeh.”

Merda, hai ragione!

Meanwhile, Keeno, Luka, Loana and Leela drag the corpse of Bhel, intending to later ask Deston if there is a way to safely prepare demon flesh for human consumption.

Not with such big words, obviously.

Slayer chases a demon scaly that made the mistake of shrinking back to normal size.


Slayer starts making kissy noises, which successfully psyches the demon scaly out.

"Nu nu nu nu nu–"


The demon scaly runs into Cannonball, in steel form, and, before it can get its bearings, Slayer moves in.

"Wut am yu-- OWWIESSSS!"


“Yu am weww-come. Hab fun, Swayew.”

Dave spots Slayer getting busy again and flies over, taking out his phone.


Above the streets, Alpha and Adam’s fists collide…


Creating another shockwave.

Adam kept dodging the silver spikes, so Alpha retracted them.

The two fly back in opposite directions, not taking their eyes off each other.

"Detestable automaton! Do you really think you can beat the great Emperor Adam Omega?"

Alpha gives Adam an audacious smirk.

"Sure, why not? It’s been done before. So, let me guess what the deal is: you help Fate win, he gives you your empire back on a silver platter? Seems too good to be true, if you ask ME. You sure you aren’t just being played?"

"Nobody plays me. I’m Adam Omega. The greatest of all Enlightened Ones."

"Then why don’t you just go get Ad Laun Dyz back by yourself? Don’t you still have Jack’s powers?"

Adam shrugs.

"Fate will do it FOR me once he’s back in charge. After that, he’ll have outlived his use to me."

Alpha starts laughing.

"What’s so funny?!?"

If Alpha was human, he’d be struggling to breathe right now, he’s laughing that hard.

"Do you even listen to yourself? What, are you going to betray Fate? If he doesn’t see that coming from a mile away, I’ll be VERY surprised!"

"My power is limitless. Even Fate can’t stop me."

"If you’re referring to your power as an Omega Class… you aren’t gonna HAVE it in a few seconds."


Jack uncloaks behind Adam and straps a power dampener around Adam’s neck, before the demonic Omega can react.

“Hey asshole, remember me?

Jack has swapped Tobey out for a flight pack, not being able to wear both at the same time, and Tobey is currently down in the streets, assisting Magnum and his brobot Tom.

"Time-meddler! You’ll pay for this!"

When Adam turns around and swings at Jack, he only ends up punching the air, because Jack is now next to Alpha, who has a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Now you’re just another demon, Adam."

Adam turns to face them.

"But that means I still have the STRENGTH of a dem–"

Adam is suddenly wearing a silver bracelet.


"What did I fucking SAY? You still have the WEAKNESSES of a demon too!"

Adam falls to the ground, and Alpha and Jack follow him down.


Adam lands in an empty street.

As Adam is writhing on the floor in pain, Alpha turns to Jack.

"Jack, you wanna finish this one? He did copy your powers by force, after all."

Jack unsheathes his katana, which starts glowing.

“It would be my pleasure.

Jack walks over to Adam.

“Any last words, Adam?”

Adam looks up at Jack, fury in his burning eyes.

"I had a family back in Ad Laun Dyz, you know. I just wanted to see my wife and son again. That’s all I really wanted."

Jack glares down at the demon Omega.

Bullshit. If your family was what mattered to you the most, you wouldn’t have waged war against the universe.”

"I wanted my son to inherit the greatest empire of all time. Is it a sin to want the best for one’s children?"

“Bitch, you could have started a college fund, but instead you turned the Earth into an ashen wasteland. I know the whole story, Adam. I know how Ad Laun Dyz fell. We’re lucky the Patrol could undo it, and that was a one time thing, if what I’ve heard is true. Just admit it, Adam: everything you did… it was all about satisfying your ego.”

After a few moments, Adam slowly nods.

"Yes. It was. But I still loved my family, time-meddler."

“You know that doesn’t mean you’re walking away from this, Adam. And my name, by the way, is Jackson. Dr. Jackson Albert Clockson. As my good friend says: call me Jack. Everyone does.”

"I do not want you to forgive me, Jack. I just want you to understand. I was Adam Omega. I was the last Emperor of Ad Laun Dyz. Husband, father… warmonger. But my time is over. It’s been over for fourteen millennia. Do what you must do, Dr. Jackson Clockson. Farewell."

“Farewell, Emperor Adam Omega.”


And with that, the Omega Dynasty finally comes to a definitive end.

Jack sighs.

“I really hate having to do this.”

Alpha pats Jack on the shoulder.

"Believe me, Jack, I know how you feel. I don’t like killing either. But these assholes are already dead. And look how quickly they took to demonhood. I don’t know what happens when a demon dies for real. I mean, I know they can go Up There if they behave, buuuuuuuut I can’t see that happening for these guys."

“I know what happens. Val told me, Pierre told her, Des told him. Let’s just say our half-demons have incentive to behave, because what happens if they don’t isn’t pretty.”

"It just occurred to me. You and Pierre have an awful lot in common. But you two never really spend any time together."

“Huh. You’re right. Y’know, if we all survive this, I’ll go visit his cabin. I’ve never really been to Blueberry’s Forest, I’ve heard so much about it. Does Blueberry’s herd really sell pot brownies to the other herds?”

"Oh yeah, but he’s the nicest drug lord you’ll ever meet. Although, Vic knows a guy, used to deal coke years ago, but these days he helps Vic bust other dealers. El Padrino, they used to call that guy."

“Really? I remember reading an old newspaper article about El Padrino dying in a plane crash off the coast of Cuba.”

"Well, that’s technically the truth. Vic faked the guy’s death. Bribed the pilot to not say a word. Using El Padrino’s drug money, of course. Last I heard, the pilot retired to a warm beach, to live a life of luxury. Usually, Vic’s a leave-no-witnesses kinda guy, but the pilot hadn’t done anything wrong. Vic doesn’t like harming innocents, you know that."

“Huh. Hey, speaking of Vic, I wonder what he’s up to right now?”


Victor shoots a demon whose name isn’t important. The only important thing about that demon is that he was a diehard fluffy abuser in life.

“Is this what you wanted, asshole?”

Scarface starts urinating on the demon’s corpse, to add insult to injury, and Victor sees Pierre and Deston approach.

“Have you guys found Umbra yet?”

Pierre makes a “kinda” gesture with a silvery hand.

Also real silver, by the way. Well, silver plating. But it’s enough silver.

Seriously, he’s prepared for everything.

“He was on the Tower’s roof when we arrived, apparently talking to a demon fluffy.”

Deston sees a demon incoming.


And sends it running away in the form of a goat, before turning to Victor.

“But we had a very important thing to do, so we didn’t have time to go up there. I’m guessing the demon fluffy was just reporting events down here.”

“They were both gone when we left. That’s all we know right now. Fate seems to have learned about the blackout feature on the drones, and how to activate it remotely. Or maybe Hans did, Alpha can do the same thing. So we can’t keep as close an eye on Umbra as we should be doing, but we can figure out his rough position, just like when Alpha was in China.”

Victor nods knowingly.

“By paying attention to which drones are blacking out.”

Pierre beams.

Exactement, old friend. We can use the COMPs for that.”

“But we don’t know what he’s doing. Where is he now, Pierre?”

In the street informally known as Bang Street, in the building that formerly housed Tyrone Beck’s fluffy brothel, Umbra feasts on a family of ferals who had moved in after the brothel was shut down, and were unfortunately overlooked when the city was evacuated.

He quickly broke their necks so he could eat in peace and quiet.

Umbra hears the high, reedy voice of Fate in his head.

“Umbra, what are you doing? I told you to wait on the Tower for Korkea.”

“You told the other Umbra to do that. Not me.

“U-1989? What have you done to my Harbinger?”

“He’s still in here. But I’ve taken the wheel of this wonderful body. Really, you should have kept a close eye on us. Putting two Umbras together was a recipe for disaster.”

“You know, I could just force you out of that body, and retrieve my Harbinger’s soul.”

“You could, but you won’t.


Umbra hears Fate’s voice behind him.

“Oh, won’t I?”

One demon, who was just eating the goat that suddenly ran into him, spots something small and silvery flying at him.

"What the fuck is–"

A ghost fluffy takes over the demon’s body, and joins the fight against the hostile demon hordes.

That fluffy was able to recover the driver’s licence he accidentally dropped down a storm drain, and ran into the ChaotiX, who quickly tracked down the man who killed the fluffy and his special friend.

But even after solving his own murder, the avenging spirit fluffy decided to stick around, and use his spectral powers for good. It turns out that the man was just a small part of something bigger, so the ghost fluffy didn’t think his work was done yet.

The Death of Fluffies was very impressed by the ghost fluffy’s decision.

As a giant demon scaly prepares to stomp Blueberry, Lavender, and the blue Stahlkörper into oblivion, Blueberry gets ready.

When the gigantic claw comes down…


The Stahlkörper’s metal hands catch it.

As the Stahlkörper struggles to hold the claw up, Blueberry turns to his co-pilot.

“Wavendew. Du yu fing.”


Lavender lifts up a rather large and bulky car with her telekinesis.

And flings it at the scaly.


When the scaly is knocked off-balance, Lavender follows up with her signature move:


A streetlight to the brain.

The Stahlkörper stomps away as the gigantic demon scaly corpse goes limp.

Chris, James and Amy leap over.

“Nice work, you two!”

“Fanks, Nice Kwis.”

“You can just call us Chris and James now. The other Chris and James are gone. We dealt with them.”

Chris and James have already gotten each other and Amy up to speed on their respective encounters with their demonic counterparts, and fill the two fluffies in.

The two fluffies are shocked and, if they can be frank, impressed that Demon Chris showed remorse in his final moments.

“Wow. Bwuebewwy nu wuz ess-peck-tin dat.

Lavender doesn’t quite know what to say.

Blueberry sees the look on her face, and decides to change the subject.

He’s smart enough to know that Lavender needs time to process this, but right now, they don’t have time.

“Su, uh, um, am dewe anee mowe of dem big ugwy pen-deh-hohs?

Amy looks up at Blueberry, raising an eyebrow.

“Blueberry, where did you learn that word?”

Blueberry smiles sheepishly down at Amy.

“Bwuebewwy had moo-vee nite wif Scawface.”

“Let me guess, was it the movie he’s named after?”

“Yup. Wuz gweat. But Bwuebewwy awsked a kwest-yun.”

James grins up at Blueberry.

“We’ve had some of our flyers check. You just took down the last scaly. Well, second last. There’s one more, but Slayer got to it, so that one won’t be an issue for long.”

Chris leans to look at the scaly corpse behind the Stahlkörper.

“They can’t spawn any more scalies. They’re demons now. Demons can’t create life. Half-demons can, but these assholes ain’t half-demons.”

Lavender lets out a sigh of relief.

“Fank fukkin gawd. Wavendew hay-ted dem fings.”

Blueberry pats Lavender on the back with a marshmallow hoof.

“Bwuebewwy wuz nu du fawnd of dem ee-fuw.”

As the group laughs, a few formerly human demons approach them.

Blueberry smirks at he prepares for the next round.

“Say hewwo tu Bwuebewwy widdew fwiend!”

The Morris Clan, the vampire hunters, the angels and nephilim, and the draaks all glare at Ianos, bound in heavenly chains, gold and silver bracelets locked onto him.

Glenn and Cyrus step up, pointing their swords at the Fiendlord. The rest of the group is merely keeping an eye on Ianos, in case he tries something.

“That Sun Peaww won’t save you. Any wast wowds, Ianos?”

"I really can’t take you seriously, Fluffy-Head."

“How many times do I have to say it, you mowon? I don’t fucking cawe that you don’t take me sewiouswy! We’ve stiww got you dead to wights! And my name is Gwenn!”

"Know that you accomplished absolutely nothing of value, Ianos. Your son has abandoned you, your Clan has abandoned you, and you’re about to die. For real this time. Do you know what happens to demons when they die for keeps? Because it’s about to happen to YOU. All you achieved was a pile of corpses, and any mentally deranged simpleton with a gun can achieve THAT."

“You don’t even have Wegion anymowe.”

Jackie grins.

“When you gave it the instruction to obey you and your children, you forgot to take us into account.”

Harley giggles.

“We tore it apart by just telling it to move in three different directions at the same time.”

Alfador grins just like Jackie.

“Swop-ee wowk, Ianos. Swop-ee wowk. Yu wuz in a huwwy, huh?”

Jackie cups his hand behind his ear.

“Can you hear it, Ianos? Can you hear the bitter black wind howling? It’s howling for you. It’s the sound of the reaper. Do you feel his scythe at your throat yet? You will.

Henry laughs at Ianos’ misfortune.

“Really, you’re to wizards what Hans was to scientists: a hack.

Carmilla scowls when Henry mentions Hans.

She’s still angry with Hans about the finger-flick incident.

Ianos sighs.

"I can’t believe that THIS is how it ends. Honestly, Morris, sometimes I wonder if getting some sip was WORTH it."

Audrey steps up.

"My husband drank the same demon blood as you, and he’s using his powers for good now. Drinking Satan’s blood wasn’t the problem. The problem is how you used the resulting powers."

"I safeguarded that flask for two thousand years and Ed lost it in five minutes. It’s not like you can just get Satan’s blood at the grocery store, you know."

“We’ww be twacking down the west of your Cwan next.”

"You should have seen this coming when you killed me in Scotland, all those years ago."

“In case you’we wondewing: Vic shot youw guawds at the Singing Mountain the moment he saw them. It just didn’t foow him. And we identified those poow boys’ bodies. They’d been wepowted missing fow a whiwe. Anyway, that’s enough tawk. Cywus? He’s all youws, wike I said. Have at him. I’ve awweady had a tuwn.”

Jackie smiles wickedly at Ianos, as Cyrus prepares to strike.

“One more thing, Ianos: I wasn’t the only one working to bring your Clan down from the inside.”

"What are you talking about, boy?"

“You know that jester who showed up and started working for you, about two years ago?”

"Oh, yes. He was a very entertaining-- wait. Was he a spy?"

“No. He’s Chaos. And Sir Calvin is his Harbinger. So be glad you’re getting us, because Chaos would be a lot rougher with you. He didn’t like what you wanted to do to Sir Calvin, Ianos.”

Ianos starts laughing.



He’s still laughing when Cyrus stabs him in the heart.


And with that, the Fiendlord burns to ash again.

“Nice cwean stab, Cywus.”

"Being dead is no excuse to not train, Glenn. Now…"

The group moves on.

"…let’s find the rest of the Ianos Clan."

In the former site of the fluffy brothel, Fate glares at Umbra.

“I should have just left you in Hell, U-1989. I knew it was a mistake to bring you here. Giving you that demon blood was a mistake too.”

“Oh no, Fate. It was meant to be. All of this started with me, and all of this should end with me.”

“I’ll give you one chance to relinquish my Harbinger’s body and his soul before I do it by force. Don’t think blood magic will stop me. I’m not a wizard. I’m Fate. I decide what will be, and this should not be.

“I can still be your Harbinger, Fate.”

“Why would I want a Harbinger who lost twice? I’d rather have U-1999, because he never lost.”

“In a way, you still have him. But what you don’t get is, I’m smarter than U-1999. Because I learned from my losses, and you can’t do that if you never lose.”

Fate stops to thinks about this.

“Hmm. I suppose you have a point. Very well, you work for me now. To be honest, I took something like this happening into account. It’s what I do. Take everything into account.”

“Really? Because I think there’s one little fact that you haven’t taken into account.”

“What fact is that?”

Umbra gives Fate one of Calvin’s audacious smirks.

“It’s called the Umbra Saga, not the Fate Saga.”

Fate is confused.

“What is that supposed to–”


Umbra, all too quick on the draw, shoots Fate with one of the revolvers that can kill anything, right between the eyes.


The corpse of Fate falls to the floor.

“Sorry not sorry, pencil-pusher. I alone deserve to rule.”

Part 13