Part 10: Catharsis
Be Blossom, a year old Dandelion yellow fluffy. You are sleeping in your nestie in your safe room after what was one of your best and worst days ever. You went to Gramma’s house and saw some beautiful flowers and other plants. You met some meousy monsters that turned out to be the friendliest kitties! There was Jasper who nearly scared the poopies out of you but ended up being very kind and cuddly, then there were the other two kitties that you never learned the name of but they seemed to like you well enough.
You were going to have something called ‘Lasagna’ but unfortunately before they were done some very bad things happened to you. You were chasing the kitties around the house when you accidentally ran into Carol’s leggies! You were so scared when that happened! You tried to say how sorry you were but before you knew it you were flying across the room! Carol had kicked you! You slid into a tree friend in a pot and hit it hard. Before you had time to process what had happened you heard loud stomp-y noises and thought Carol was coming to hurt you some more. You closed your see places and curled into a ball as best you could when you heard a loud ‘smack!’ then there was suddenly shouting! It was Gramma! She had come to save you from Carol! You could not really make out what was being said but Gramma sounded very, very angry! You heard Carol shouting too but she was saying ‘I’m sorry!’ over and over again and you could tell that she was sad as she seemed to be crying.
Then Mummah Cheryl came over to you, you could tell because of her pretty smell, she petted your mane and made soothing noises at you. She reached around your sides to try and pick you up. That was when you finally noticed the hurties you were feeling. It was terrible! You screamed out in pain! You felt like there was a crunchy twig in your side that was poking into your tummy! It was the worst hurties you ever felt! You started breathing very fast and suddenly you vision was blurring and everything went dark.
You remember waking up a few times though you don’t know if maybe they were just dreams. You remember hearing Daddy Ken arguing with Gramma, you could still hear Carol repeating ‘I’m sorry’ over and over and you could feel that you were being carried by someone to the car before you blacked out. Sometime later you remember being in the car; it was very quiet except for the roar of the car. You could see Daddy Ken controlling the car; you were in the front seat next to him. The pain was still terrible and you felt so, so tired and you quickly dropped off again.
Sometime after that you awoke on a cold metal table you could hear Daddy Ken shouting with a mister who you didn’t recognize, the mister was saying things like “Fractured ribs” and “pnumothorax” you didn’t know what he was talking about but Daddy Ken shouted back “I don’t care how much it costs just make her better!” You didn’t like that Daddy Ken was shouting but for some reason the tone he had made you feel loved and your hurties got somewhat better. You couldn’t stay awake though no matter how hard you tried and you fell asleep once more.
Now you were back in your nestie, it was dark times and your body felt so heavy. You find yourself constantly slipping in and out of sleep and having trouble discerning weather you are awake or not. It was like someone had put clouds and rocks into your head and body and they were fighting to make you feel like you were floating and sinking at the same time. You could tell that there was something wrong with your side but you couldn’t feel much beyond some minor discomfort and stiffness.
You heard the door open and someone entered the room. You could feel their footfalls as they moved towards you. You felt them wrap their arms around you and lift you up carefully. Your side twinges in pain slightly but you eyes are so heavy you remain mostly asleep. You don’t know who has picked you up but they carry you out of your room and down the hall. You feel the sensation that you are being carried down stairs but why would someone be taking you to the basement?
“w-why Bwossom go bwasment?” you manage to weakly say, eyes still closed.
“Shhh!” the person holding you shushes you. The noise sounds like Mommy Cheryl and you relax a bit.
You are carried far back into the basement going through a doorway you feel a noticeable drop in the temperature. Finally you are set down on the cold, hard concrete floor.
“Why Bwossom on cowd fwoow Mummah Shewyw?” you are fighting sleep and manage to open your eyes a fraction but can only see the vague outline of a human kneeling in front of you.
“I am not your ‘mummah’” a familiar voice says in a cold flat affect.
Suddenly you are very awake and Carol comes into focus in front of you wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Her eyes are red and heavy with bags; a deep purple hand shaped mark was on her cheek.
A quick glance around reveals that you are in the unfinished portion of the basement set in the back corner of a storage area, the walls composed of bare cinder blocks. Random boxes are strewn about filled with Christmas and Halloween decorations.
“w-why Bwossom hewe C-c-cawow?” you stammer out, subconsciously backing more into the corner behind you.
A frown deepens on Carol’s face as she continues to stare down at you, as if contemplating what to do next. After a pause she reaches next to her where a newspaper lies on the floor. She carefully rolls it up into a tube and a wave of realization dawns upon you. Fear grips you as Carol tightens the rolled up newspaper in her hands.
“…You…” Carol manages to croak out, her hands now shaking on the newspaper. “You have ruined my life… Dad yelled at me, grounded me, Cheryl won’t even look at me. Grandma….” She hesitates, “I don’t know if I can even face her ever again…”
You see that tears are on Carols face as her chest begins to heave with sobs. Suddenly anger flashes on her face and she whips the newspaper across your muzzle. You try your best to stay quiet as you feel that if you make too much noise it would only make her angrier but you still whimper in pain from the strike. She smacks you several more times causing the metallic taste of blood to fill your mouth and nostrils.
“You fucking shitrat!” She hisses, trying to keep her voice down. “Why did you have to come to our house?! Why did you have to push yourself into our lives!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO STEAL MY FAMILY FROM ME?!” she emphasizes each question with a strike from the newspaper a blow to your shoulder, another two to your head. Your eye took the brunt of one of the blows and you can feel it begin to swell shut.
You look up at Carol, tears in your own eyes; you don’t know what to do. You can tell that she is having biggest heart hurties but nothing you ever do seems to make her happy. “Bwossom wub famwy” you say meekly. “Bwossom w-wub Cawow”
“NO YOU DON’T!” She shouts back in a hushed tone “YOU ONLY THINK YOU DO! YOU ARE JUST SOME PRE-PROGRAMMED FREAK THAT SPOUTS THE SAME BULLSHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!” she smacks you repeatedly across your the head. You feel the room begin to spin. Your head drops to the floor and you feel the wetness of you blood getting into your fluff.
You stare forward into space as darkness begins to form at the edge of your vision. You don’t know what you did to deserve this but for some reason you feel oddly content. This feeling of helplessness was not unfamiliar to you. Helplessness seems to be the most familiar negative emotion you remember. You remember the brief time you spent with your fluffy mummah; she was so pretty. You remember opening up your see places for the first time and seeing her beautiful purple fluff. You looked up at her and saw tears in her eyes. She called you her ‘Wastest babbeh’ and held you close you wanted to make her feel better but you were so small and had no idea what to do. You felt so, helpless. Later you remember being in the safe place with mummah, a plastic crate next to a dumpster with a rusted out hole in the side. Mommy was lying on the floor of the crate. Barely moving, her breathing infrequent and ragged; she looked so skinny, her ribs and hips were clearly visible against her fluff. She was crying again “Sowwy Yewwow” Hu-Huu “Mummah nu” Wheeze “hab miwkies fow wastest babbeh.” You were crying too, it hurt so much to see your mummah like this, the helplessness ate at you watching her spasm an writhe.
Then there was the shelter, days of sitting in a cage not knowing what to do. The other fluffies around you all seemed so scared all the time. You tried to stay positive but almost every day you had to see other fluffies struggle and scream as rough hands pulled them out of their cages and with a quick twist of their wrists and a crack silenced them, it caused the sense of helplessness and despair to creep into your very being. Eventually you had accepted that soon your neck would be cracked and your time would come to an end; but for some reason it never did. Weeks turned to months, you stayed in the cage and waited and waited for your neck crack to happen but for some reason the rough hands never came for you. All you had was your sad song, the song you learned from the man who brought the trashy nummies to the dumpster you lived next to with mummah. You didn’t know what it was called, and you could only remember part of it, but for some reason it reminded you of mummah and gave you even the slightest amount of comfort.
But then something else happened. Something that caused the helplessness to leave, a miracle as far as you could tell. Daddy Ken came. Daddy Ken came and took you to a warm house with soft beds and toys instead of hard metal grates and dry food. And then there was Mummah Cheryl, her and Daddeh Ken loved you so much you thought you might burst! You couldn’t even imagine the helplessness you felt before, it seemed silly and so distant. Even Mummah Mary loved you; although she barely saw you she still treated you with kindness whenever you crossed paths. Then there was Gramma! You only met her today and yet she was so full of love for you it made you so happy. You remember what she asked you about how you feel about Carol ‘But do you still love her? She is still your family, even if she is mean to you. Can you love her even with that?’ you remember that you said you would because she was family, that you only wanted for her to be happy
Your eyes come back from the darkness that was encroaching on you. You remember what Gramma told you ‘that’s the spirit of family little one, to love even if you aren’t loved in return.’
“Dat nu twu” you manage to weakly say, “dat nu am twu, Bwossom knu wub” you look up at Carol gathering what focus and determination you can. “Bwossom knu Bwossom wub Cawow, ebben dou Cawow scawe Bwossom aww de time, ebben dou Cawow give Bwossom kickies an worstest huwties.”
“SHUT UP!” Carol nearly screams at you; seemingly forgetting to keep quiet.
You don’t know where this strength is coming from but you feel like if there was ever a time to tell Carol how you feel, this is it. “Bwossom shud hatchu! But Cawow am Bwossoms famwy! An Bwossom wub FAMWY!” you feel the pain in your side flair up as your breathing has become haggard.
Carol stares at you, a look of confusion and shock on her face; the newspaper now weakly hanging in her hand. You take the opportunity to continue your train of thought “S-so, Bwossom nu cawe anymowe, go hed! Huwt Bwossom, gib Bwossom worstest hurties! Bwossom jus wan tu wub and be wubbed! If dis how Cawow want to wub Bwossom den Bwossom nu cawe! Bwossom stiww wub Cawow!” Your eye has completely swelled shut now, and the fluff on snout and down your front is all sticky with drying blood.
Carol slumps to her side her face contorting in sadness as she begins to sob with ugly heaves of her chest. You feel miserable, not just from the pain but somehow you seem to have made Carol to feel even worse than before. You do your best to scoot towards her in an attempt to try and comfort her as best you can in your battered state. Carol falls forward still wailing, the newspaper no longer in her hands. Her head touches the floor and her arms wrap around it; her purple hair poking out at odd angles.
Something catches your eye, during the movement Carols shorts rode up her leg some and now you can clearly see a crisscross of angry cuts on her upper thigh. As far as your fluffy brain can tell you they appear to be very fresh. “Cawow have hurties?” she didn’t seem to hear you over her crying. You move your way over to her leg and give her the best hug you can give her. As soon as you make contact with Carol’s leg she starts violently and freezes. It’s not the best hug you’ve ever given, but you hope that you can do something to give her some comfort.
“Sowwy fow huggies nu being gud, Bwossom twy as hawd as Bwossom can,” your blood smears onto her thigh but she did not seem to care. Carol’s crying returns though it seems different this time. A trembling hand reaches into your mane and grips tightly followed shortly by another hand.
It was a hug.
You realize that Carol was hugging you back and you redouble you efforts to hug her as tightly as you can. You begin to cry as well and you both just hold each other. You gripping her leg as best you can and she clutching your mane.
After what felt like a forever of tears and heaving sobs you hear a meek “I’m sorry” come from Carol, further muffled by her tears and your fluff. You give her an extra squeeze to try and tell her that there was nothing to forgive. She releases you from the hug and sits up tears and snot drenching her frowning face. “I’m so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve all this”
“It otay Cawow, Bwossom wiww be otay. Jus wan you to be otay.”
“I-I, I don’t know, I feel so empty, I don’t know what to do.”
“Bwossom nu knu, but Bwossom knu dat famwy wiww hewp.”
Fresh tears rolled down Carol’s face, her face scrunching into a frown again.
“Nu cwy Cawow, pwease, nu cwy”
“How the fuck can you still love me after all this?”
“Bwossom jus wan famwy tu be happy. Nu need anyting ewse.” You look up into her eyes “Cawow’s face aww wet and swimy”
A humorless chuckle comes from Carol. And a slight smile comes across her face.
“Now, Cawow need go bak to sweepies befow Daddeh Ken or Mummah Shewyw wakies”
“Oh god, what are they going to do when they see what I did to you? They are never going to forgive me”
You think for a short time and say, “Bwossom wiww stay in bwasement, Cawow wiww go to bed. Bwossom wiww teww Daddeh Ken dat Bwossom wakies duwing dawk time and faww down staiws”
“I-I can’t let you do that, you’re hurt! We may need to take you back to the vet, I mean; your face is all swollen and bloody!”
“NU!” you exclaim, “Cawow wiww go to bed, Bwossom wiww stay hewe, Cawow nu need to get in mowe twoubles wiff Daddeh Ken and Mummah Shewyw! Bwossom wiww be otay! Now GO!”
Carol gets up and walks to the stairs leading to the main floor, you follow along behind as best you can. She climbs the first few steps and turns back to you “Thank you Blossom, I don’t deserve you,”
You smile up at her as best you can “Bwossom Wub Cawow. Cawow desewb wub!”
Carol smiles slightly “I-I,” she hesitates, turns, and climbs the rest of the stairs.