"Winner Takes All" Part 1 by NobodyAtAll

Note: read “Dawn of the Final Day” first.


I sound out the battlecry.

“ONE FOR ALL!!!”

All of my allies respond.

“AND ALL FOR ONE!!!”

Then we all start fighting for our fucking lives.

And for our fucking planet.

FOR MY FUCKING PLANET.

NOT HIS.

MINE.

MINE TO PROTECT.


Thousands, if not millions of aliens have invaded the Earth, and all of them are trying to kill me, and anyone who gets between them and me.

And there’s a lot of people in their way, because I have a huge tribe.

Meanwhile, up in the sky, hundreds of huge spaceships are broadcasting the fight, on big screens, around the world.

All the while, the voice of Bertrand Faucheuse screams, and everyone can hear him.

“DO YOU SEE THIS, KORKEA??? EVERYONE IS WATCHING!!! I WANT THEM TO WATCH!!! I WANT THEM TO WATCH YOU FIGHT!!! I WANT THEM TO WATCH YOU FAIL!!! AND I WANT THEM TO WATCH… AS THEIR LAST HOPE DIES!!!”

What the fuck is that guy’s problem?


As I’m fighting as hard as I can above the streets, I see my allies engage the enemy down below.

I need to find a way to stop this before everyone else dies.

The witches and wizards are flinging instant death spells with expert aim at the aliens.

They’re not fucking around.

The angels are vaporising the aliens with beams of heavenly light, and the demons are incinerating the aliens with unholy flames.

They’re actually working together.

The Deaths are swinging their scythes, ripping out the aliens’ souls.

There’s Deaths for each alien race, too. Neat.

Miles, Ben and Surge are electrocuting the shit out of fishlike aliens who can’t seem to handle electricity.

A lot of rocky creatures who seem to be on our side are tearing through the aliens like they’re made of paper, and a lot of dwarves are using axes to make sure that the aliens they run into will never need a pair of shoes again.

Slayer is in demon form, and, true to form, is raping one of the aliens, who doesn’t seem to enjoy it. Scarface and Greebo are tearing a smaller alien apart.

A bunch of different aliens wearing the same uniform also seem to be on our side, and they’re shooting down the other aliens with laser guns.

Andre is using the same trick Brian used to fire Cannonball at a big alien. It takes the bastard’s head off. Brian and Stretch are stretching their arms and front legs, strangling aliens to death.

A group of goddamn vampires, including a vampire fluffy, attack a big red alien with four arms and drain him dry, while complaining about the taste.

Well, all those spaceships are blocking the sun. As long as they’re not draining humans or fluffies…

Prometheus is punching aliens to bits while Valerie tears them to shreds with her tendril harness. The tendrils can change their shape, and they’re currently bladed. And they’re sharp. How does that work, you ask? Nanomachines, son!

Susan and Xavier are flying around in two suits of power armor, with Valerie’s signature aesthetic choices, and blasting aliens down.

When did they get those???

Chakra and Famke are slamming aliens around with their telekinesis, while Danny phases through one and comes out the other side holding the alien’s heart. The alien drops dead on the spot. Ghost does the same to another alien.

Reilly is swinging around, landing on the bigger aliens’ shoulders, stabbing them in the brains with her stingers, and swinging away as they drop dead.

Drake and Diablo incinerate a bunch of plantlike aliens who unpleasantly remind me of Floris.

The police and military are shooting aliens out of the sky, while Victor blows them out of the sky with his rocket launcher.

Roland, fully armored up, is steamrolling aliens. When one of them tries to attack him from behind, a big stone fist rises up from beneath the alien and launches the bastard into the sky. Terra, inside a big spiky stone ball, is rolling around, and alien corpses are getting stuck to it like a goddamn Katamari.

Needles and Spike are firing poison darts at the aliens, who are quickly succumbing to the poison.

Pierre is blasting aliens with two arm cannons. When they close in, he points both cannons at the ground and fires, launching himself up into the air, and vaporising those stupid sons of space bitches who were too close.

Deston, Annette, and June are covering each other, and the air around them crackles and shimmers. They’re the three most powerful mages on the planet, and they’re not fucking around either.

I hear Annette taunt the enemy.

“Ha! Aliens? Back in my day, they’s wuz called the Fair Folk! Ya hear that?!? Bring it on, you’se buncha fairies!

It’s technically not homophobic.

Wally and Bolt are moving so fast I can barely keep up with them, tearing aliens to shreds before the bastards see them coming.

Dave and Robert combine their streams of hellfire to melt the stupid alien made of ice who picked a fight with two half-demons. Judy melts another one with a fireball, and Samuel and Gabriel melt two more with sunbeams.

There’s an angel at home protecting our Quin.

Buzz Eerie, the Bombastic Bee-Man, is commanding his legions of bees to sting the shit out of aliens, while flying around and jamming his stingers into aliens’ brains.

Paul Murphy sees the big, blue extra-terrestial beasts that the other side is fielding and gets an idea. He turns into a brown one, and starts devouring aliens, also complaining about the taste.

He can’t change his color. But it’s good, people can tell he’s not with them.

Akira and Wukong are blasting aliens out of the air with balls and beams of energy.

Dr. Erwin Stahlberg is stomping around in the Stahlkörper 2.0, a massive mecha suit, and decimating the enemy forces.

Dwayne, Rock and Simone are turning the aliens to paste with fists and hooves.

Seth, Gus and Breezie are slicing aliens to ribbons with razor-sharp winds.

And while all of this is happening, I’m using all of my powers to fight off the aliens who make it past everyone else.

But the bastards just keep coming.

"IT WILL NEVER STOP, KORKEA!!! NOT UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD!!!"

And Bertrand just won’t shut up.

Part 2

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