As the three-way war in the city continues, outside of the city, on an empty road, Pierre, Deston, Buzz and Amy confront Auldryn.
As Buzz keeps a stinger pointed at Auldryn’s head, Deston snaps a golden bracelet onto Auldryn’s wrist.
“No more magic.”
Pierre points his arm cannon at Auldryn’s head.
“Why did you do it? Why did you murder our mother? Don’t even dare to deny it.”
“It wasn’t murder. It was mercy. They would have done so much worse to her.”
Auldryn points in the direction the popemobile was last seen driving away.
“Those superstitious fools. They sought to stamp out everything they deemed harmful to their God. Everything they didn’t understand, and thus saw as something to fear.”
“But why. Did. You. Kill. Her? You could have saved her!”
“Saving her is still the plan.”
Deston raises an eyebrow.
“Magic can’t bring back the dead.”
Auldryn just scoffs.
“No, but other forces can. How do you think I made all of that gold? I assume your meddling friends told you about that. My power defies the laws of magic.”
Amy hands the staff over to Deston.
“I’m taking a close look at this the first chance I get.”
Pierre glares even harder at Auldryn.
“If you could bring Mother back, you could have just done it right away. Why didn’t you?”
“Because I want to be sure she won’t be living in a world where she’s hated for being a wizard’s wife.”
“They don’t hate wizards anymore, Auldryn. His Holiness himself said he sees no problem with magic being used for good.”
“You think this will last forever? Bigotry never dies, boys. It just changes form.”
Deston glares too.
“And right now, it’s taking your form. You wanted to establish a goddamn magical dictatorship. And you still think that you’re the victim?”
“I’m the avenger of wizardkind, Deston. You’re a fool doing parlor tricks.”
Pierre starts charging, Deston starts preparing to cast with his free hand, and Buzz and Amy get out of the way.
“I think you’ve said enough. You must know one thing: the moment you killed our mother, you sealed your fate. Goodbye, Auldryn.”
“I don’t think so.”
Auldryn’s staff flies out of Deston’s hand, and when Auldryn grabs it, he and the staff both disappear.
“…Deston, he was still wearing the bracelet, wasn’t he?”
“He wasn’t kidding when he said his power defies the laws of magic.”
Just as Ed is about to drain the hip flask, he hears a sound.
Before Ed can react, Auldryn points the staff at him.
Ed’s eyes start glowing in all the colors of the rainbow. His expression becomes dull and vacant.
“This is what you get for breaking my spell and betraying me. Hand over the flask.”
Ed obeys, no longer in control of his body.
“Now get this damn bracelet off.”
Ed obeys, breaking the bracelet.
Auldryn points the staff at Ed again, and the vampire’s eyes return to their usual blood red.
“What the-- hey! That’s mine!”
“Not anymore, it’s not. Zum.”
Since his hands are full, Auldryn doesn’t snap his fingers. Cast improperly, Zum teleports the target to a random location.
Auldryn doesn’t care where Ed ends up.
“Considering where this staff’s power comes from, using it for that is pretty ironic, I’d say. But the power is mine now, to do with as I please.”
As he sniffs the contents of the flask, Auldryn wrinkles his nose.
“Ghastly stuff. But I’ll need it, for Plan B.”
He drains the hip flask’s contents.
“Wage war upon Heaven itself.”
He quickly starts changing shape.
"For centuries, they thought us wizards were Satanic demonspawn… MIGHT AS WELL GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!!!"
Ed, fortunately, appears on the other side of the city.
“Oh shit, he’s got the Satan sip!”
He turns into a bat and flies towards the rest of his clan.
“We gotta get the fuck outta here right now!”
Since Glenn has rejoined the Monster Party, Artie, Splash, Olaf and Zamorozit have stepped in to help Judy, Snowball, Eira and Keeno.
Artie redirects the water coming from one bisected fire hydrant around Snowball, forming it into a perfect sphere the size of a wrecking ball.
Snowball freezes it solid, leaving a few air holes so she can still breathe in there.
Eira lifts up the ball of ice, flinging it at ten wizard robots, approaching in a triangle formation.
You’d expect the humorous sound of a bowling ball knocking down pins, but instead, the ball and the robots shatter.
“Levis! Are you alright, sweetie?”
“Snowbaww am otay! Wift Snowbaww up, mummah!”
“Are you sure? You don’t like heights.”
“Jus du it, mummah!”
Judy levitates Snowball out of the destroyed ice ball, and Snowball, Judy keeping her aloft, starts freezing the waterspouts Artie and Splash are directing from the fire hydrants to more robots, trapping those robots in ice too.
“Snowbaww towd yu tu chiww!”
Lou and Tony hold their hammers with one hand, their Power Gloves making it trivial.
With their free hands, they’re flinging fireballs at robots. They never go into battle without a generous amount of fireblooms.
“First humanoid dinosaurs, now wizard robots. Whaddya think we’ll fight next, Tony?”
“Don’t forget those pissed off turtles we found in the sewers!”
“Oh yeah. Yoshi said they were good eating.”
Yoshi spits a large piece of rubble at three robots.
“Yuk! Wuz aww gwitty!”
Gene and his fellow Intergalactic Patrolmen fire their laser guns at the robots.
“These things would be a nightmare if they got off Earth!”
Mel Baron smashes up robots with his trusty smithing hammer.
“I’ll make that bloody metal sing!”
Marley, panting heavily, reverts to his regular rasta fluffy form, descending onto a rooftop.
“Mawwey… am gettin tiwed…”
Legion, having sustained serious damage, stomps towards the building Marley’s standing on.
“F-fwee… cheews… fow da Cownt…”
The last order Legion was given was to kill Marley, so that’s what it’s going to do.
Marley looks up at Legion, as the flesh golem prepares to punch Marley with a gigantic fist made of fluffies.
“Fwee… cheews… f-fow… da Cownt.”
“Oh shit, dat am gunna be a wotta owwies.”
Just before Legion strikes, a young boy’s voice calls out to it.
“LEGION!!! TO ME!!!”
Legion obeys, walking towards the source of the voice.
“Fwee cheews fow da Cownt.”
Marley is… confused.
“Da fuk jus happun?”
Jackie, standing on a rooftop a couple streets away from Marley’s rooftop, watches Legion approach him.
As a dhampir, he has excellent vision, and he can see Harley on a distant rooftop cup her hands around her mouth.
And he has excellent hearing, so he hears her call out.
“LEGION!!! OVER HERE!!!”
Legion obeys Harley.
“Fwee cheews fow da Cownt.”
On another rooftop, Jackie can see Alfador. If you drew lines between the three buildings the two vampiric children and their equally vampiric fluffy are standing on, you’d get a triangle.
Alfador calls out next.
“YUU-HUU!!! WEE-GUN, COME HEWE!!!”
Legion obeys Alfador.
“Fwee cheews fow da Cownt.”
Since Harley and Alfador are Ianos’ vampiric children, and Jackie is Ianos’ biological child, Legion is bound to obey them, just as it’s bound to obey the currently absent Ianos Clan.
As Harley said, Ianos didn’t take that into account.
The three heroic vampires order Legion to stand at the exact center of the triangle.
When Legion does so, they issue the same order, at the exact same time.
“LEGION!!! COME HERE!!!”
“LEGION!!! COME HERE!!!”
“WEE-GUN!!! COME HEWE!!!”
Another thing that Ianos didn’t take into account is what happens when Legion is given conflicting orders at the same time.
Legion is compelled to obey all three orders at the same time, that’s what.
And nothing will stop it from carrying out those orders.
It can’t even realize what’s happening. It just doesn’t have the brains.
Those many fluffy voices are starting to sound strained, though.
“Fwee… cheews… fow… da–”
Legion tears itself apart.
The many fluffy corpses that made up its being collapse to the ground, now completely inert.
Nothing could stop Legion from carrying out its orders.
Nothing except itself.
Marley, watching from his rooftop, smiles to himself.
“Mawwey fowt dat yu wud neba shud up. Yu am dun cheew-in.”
In one of the many currently abandoned buildings in the city, the six surviving members of the Ianos Clan watch the destruction of Legion.
Since the buildings are currently abandoned, the vampires didn’t need to be invited inside.
Ed flies in through the window, reverting to human form.
“Guys! We need to get out of here right now!”
Aly speaks up.
“Yeah, Legion’s down–”
“Fuck Legion, Aly! The old bastard got the Satan sip!”
The other six vampires gasp.
“Is he insane?!? That’s the blood of the strongest demon of all! The same blood Ianos drank!”
“Yeah, Count Ianos had been safeguarding it for centuries, and I lost it in less than half a year. Oh great Fiendlord, please forgive me!”
“This is bad, Ed. What’s he going to do with that power?”
“You know he’s got a grudge against the magicless, Aly! He’s got a grudge against the cross-lovers too! He’s got a grudge against their God! He is insane, Aly! He’s too bloodthirsty, even for us!”
Ed wails in terror.
“And now he’s got the power of Satan himself! And that damn staff! That’s not magic, that’s something stronger! We’re all fucked, guys!”
“So what do we do, Boss?”
Ed manages to calm himself down, taking a deep breath purely to relax. He still has lungs, he just doesn’t need to use them.
“We tell the ChaotiX. They need to know–”
The door is punched off its hinges.
“YOU COULDN’T RUN FROM ME FOREVER, PRETTY BOY!!!”
Having finally tracked down Ed, I walk into the apartment, the Monster Party, Miles, Quin, Alpha, Beta, Samuel and Gabriel following me inside.
I point the Sword of Kings at Ed’s throat.
“Korkea! We were just about to go looking for you–”
“I bet you were. Where’s Auldryn?”
“Last time I saw him was in an abandoned warehouse! Across the street from that old bar, the Fallen Angel!”
I hear Samuel and Gabriel chuckle behind me.
“But listen, Korkea!”
“You don’t have anything to say that I want to hear.”
“You’ll want to hear this! Auldryn’s got the Satan sip!”
“The who in the what?”
“Demon blood! Satan’s blood! The same blood Ianos drank to become a half-demon! Whose blood did you think he drank? He had given me a flask of it to safeguard, and Auldryn stole it!”
I hear Samuel and Gabriel gasp behind me.
"So THAT’S where it was. We had been looking for that flask for a very long time."
I turn to Samuel, still pointing the Sword of Kings at Ed.
“You knew about this? You could have said something, Samuel.”
"I am so sorry, Cal. But it was classified information. We didn’t want the wrong mortals getting their hands on it."
I hear Ed clap sarcastically.
“Good job, you feathery morons!”
Okay, that’s it.
I turn back to Ed.
“Do any of you know where Auldryn is now?”
They all shake their heads.
“Then you’re useless to us. Say hi to Ianos and your siblings for me.”
In the blink of an eye, I move across the room.
“You told me to go for the heart.”
And impale Ed’s cold dead heart.
He bursts into flames.
“FUCK YOU, KORKEA!!!”
And then he burns to ash.
Before any of the other vampires can react, Samuel and Gabriel blast them with beams of concentrated sunlight.
They all explode.
We’ll be getting this place cleaned up before whoever lives here moves back in.
And we’ll be fixing the door.
With the Ianos Clan finally done and dusted, literally, I turn to the two angels.
“Good work, you two.”
We saw Legion’s destruction just before we entered this building.
So with the Ianos Clan and Legion off the board, that just leaves…
A half-demon wizard and his army of ROBOT wizards. It sounds ridiculous, huh Cal?
Well, about the robot wizards… do you hear that, Cal?
Do I hear what, Fi?
Exactly. The fighting’s stopped.
Huh. You’re right.
As sad as I am to hear that there’s no more wizard robots to trash… I think this is just the calm before the storm.
As our forces gather at the heart of the city, I see Pierre, Deston, Amy and Buzz.
I also see Marley land, looking exhausted.
I wordlessly take out a box of V For Victory brand protein bars, and me and Marley start wolfing them down.
Yes, that’s what Victor’s protein bars are called. They’re a FauCorp product, invented by Pierre for Victor, and they’re sold in stores.
Marley fills me in on what happened with Legion.
“…An den um num it jus sowta feww num num apawt.”
“Don’t om nom talk with your nom nom mouth full, Mar.”
Then Pierre and Deston fill me in on what happened with Auldryn.
“…And then he fled. We think it’s that staff. It’s got magic, yes, Deston can feel that, but it’s got something else too, we’re certain of it. But we just couldn’t detect any other energies.”
Then I fill them in on what happened with the Ianos Clan.
“…So I’m pretty sure that he’s a half-demon now, Docs. Now he has that too. I don’t think we can beat him now.”
“Cal, you’ve always found a way in the past. I have faith in you. You have the Sword of Kings and the power of an Omega Class.”
Then we all hear a sound, coming from above us.
We all look up.
It’s Auldryn, and…
Yup, he’s a half-demon now.
He glares down at Pierre and Deston.
"I didn’t want to have to do this, boys. My plan was simply to destroy the Catholic church. To create a world where mages don’t have to fear persecution."
I glare up at Auldryn.
“We already have that world, dipshit.”
He glares back down at me next.
"And what about YOUR kind, Mr. Korkea? Do you think your X-Positives will be accepted forever? Because, I can tell you, there WAS a time before the birth of Christ, a time when magic was embraced. Mark my words, unless you rise up, it will all happen again. Those who lack power will always come to fear those who have it. Phenomenon X is a NOVELTY right now. What happens when the novelty’s worn off? What happens when the X-Positives start to outnumber the powerless? They’ll feel THREATENED, that’s what happens. And deep down, EVERYONE wants to feel safe."
“So what you’re saying is, it’s us or them? Not both?”
"Never both. We tried coexistence, a long time ago. The Church just said that they wouldn’t tolerate demonspawn in God’s world."
“Some of my closest friends are demonic in nature, and the Church doesn’t have a problem with them. Neither do the boys Up There. Maybe the problem wasn’t wizards, maybe it was wizards like you! Deston? Do the thing.”
"Wait, what thing–"
“Got it, Cal. Veda.”
Deston creates an illusion.
The illusion is the walking corpse of Audrey Faucheuse.
The illusionary corpse looks up at Auldryn, hatred and fury in her cold, dead eyes.
She speaks, in a raspy voice.
“François… you killed me… for no reason… you could have saved me… I will never forgive you…”
François is so shocked he reverts to human form.
“No! I did it to save you from worse, Audrey!”
“You could have… saved me… in many other ways… but murder… was your… first choice… that’s… the man you are… François…”
The illusionary corpse bursts into illusionary flames.
“This is what you did to me…”
And the illusion fades.
Auldryn looks heartbroken and grief-stricken and… and…
“You… you’d dare… you’d dare mock my wife’s memory like that?!?”
Pierre and Deston glare up at him as hard as they can.
“She was our mother, Auldryn. You mocked her memory first. By doing all of this.”
“Do you think she’d want this, Auldryn? Do you think she’d want you to spill blood in her name?”
"YOU WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTED!!! YOU NEVER KNEW HER LIKE I DID!!!"
Auldryn, back in demon form, points his staff up at the moon.
The tip of his staff starts glowing, in all of the colors of the rainbow.
Marley looks concerned.
“W-wut am Auw-dwin duin, daddeh?!?”
“I don’t know, Mar!”
Up on the moon, a city-sized chunk of moon rock is broken off.
There’s no air up there, so it doesn’t make a sound.
Something pulls the chunk towards the Earth.
Towards the city.
Everyone is freaking out.
Pierre and Deston look up at Auldryn.
“What are you doing?!?”
“You have to stop it!!!”
Auldryn simply surrounds himself with a rainbow-colored barrier, using his staff.
"Why? I’LL survive it. Let’s see who ELSE survives. Anyone who’s left is welcome to join me in my new world. As long as they accept that magic is supreme."
Reiner marches up, pointing at Auldryn.
“YOU!!! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELF A WIZARD, YOU WANKER!!!”
Auldryn just sneers at Reiner.
"Look who’s talking. You can barely manage a fireball. MY power is about to end the old world."
“THERE’S MORE TO BEING A WIZARD THAN POWER, YOU DAFT CU–”
Kobul picks up Reiner and carries him out of range, because Auldryn seems rather smite-happy right now.
Auldryn looks up at the chunk of moon currently on a collision course with the city.
"I can’t wait to see how this ends."