The Smarty Complex (Captain_Emo)

The Smarty Complex

Interesting little fact for you, well if you didn’t already know it that is.

Did you know that horned fluffies, the unicorn types, are the least accident prone out of all fluffies?

This only really counts for domestics due to how easy it is to study them but some ferals have been observed to be more cautious and appear to have some sort of awareness of object permanence and whether that object can harm them.

They also have better motor control and balance and their eyesight is (slightly) better than most other types of fluffy.

Originally in their development, scientists had problems with their subjects’ balance and they didn’t walk in straight lines or see without suffering dizzy spells when moving their heads.

They sought to correct this

A fluffy with 3 eyes was developed to correct such issues but as the company didn’t think they’d be cute, the third eye was replaced with a soft horn as intended.

They prefer activities in which they’re actually doing something and subconsciously value effort and satisfaction as it often leads to reward.

They like to run with other fluffies sure but amongst their own type?

They’re often seen sitting and playing more “complex” games (complex for fluffies, a game of tag is known to stretch their intellectual abilities).

All fluffies love balls, dolls and blockies, but statistically the horned type are more likely to play with them for hours on end; they don’t like it when you knock down their blockies either.

Their motor control allows them to hold onto crayons and draw crudely. It is recommended that you supervise them whilst drawing (all types of fluffies are known to attempt to eat and choke on crayons), but it’s the horned type who play for hours.

In fact they’re often recommended as the fluffy you get if you want to keep one for years.

Earthie types are always recommended for everyone due to being common and cheap, but are notorious for the accidents and predicaments they can get themselves into. But not as accident-prone as Pegasi wingie types! They have a combination of literal death wish and no common sense and need constant danger training.

One thing above all else puts people off the unicorn type.

And despise them.

Smarty Syndrome

It’s often seen the stereotype and belief that horned fluffies are the most likely to develop this psychological condition.

Or is it genetic?

There’s a theory that explains it that if a fluffy, no matter it’s type, is overindulged and spoilt, and leads a chaotic life and without routine, and punishment is withheld then these factors will lead to the fluffy to develop into a Smarty.

The fluffy will no longer see itself as inferior to humans, but an equal if not superior to ourselves and that it’s childish wants should be sated.

The balance of power instilled in them at the genetic level is damaged and their psychological respect for us is destroyed.

A superiority complex.

They believe they are superior despite their innate weaknesses and obvious flaws. A self delusion and misplaced confidence in their ability.

Or it could just be the chemicals that develop in the horn (some horns are known to glow in the dark) and hormonal imbalances from puberty lead to Smarty Syndrome (it’s interesting to note that fluffies neutered and spayed at a young age and at birth are far less likely to grow into Smarties due to neutered fluffies being seen as inferior by all other fluffies).

It’s hard to say but the majority of horned fluffies are considered mildly intelligent, and the majority of them don’t develop “Smarty Behaviour”. Instead they’re pretty friendly like any other fluffy and enjoy silly nursery rhymes, painting for you and are curious and observant.

You all know what that “Smarty” behaviour entails.

The worst of the worst; they’re crude and foul bullies, vandals, disrespectful and demanding, they’re known to turn on foals that aren’t their own, they’re rapacious, they’ll sexually assault anything more vulnerable than they are, they want what they want without compromise, they show aggression and will not bend unless their will is met.

And shit everywhere. Let’s not forget that.

The horned fluffies and their Smarty stereotype are the number one reason that puts people off buying them, and “Justified Abusers” are known to be disappointed if their “Smarty” just wants huggies and plays with blockies and eats their kibble and makes no demand for Sketties and doesn’t shit all over and threaten to rape.

There’s a lot of theories as to how “Smarty Behaviour” develops.

But the reality is it’s practically the same as “Hellgremlin” behaviour and the only differential is that the “Smarty” will refer to themselves as such out of a heightened belief (to the point of delusion) of their own intelligence and that they’re the best.

A Smarty will always be the opposite of a Dummeh (or a poopie).

Robbie was waiting for the post to come. It had been a week since he placed the order.

He had ordered some accessories for his fluffy, Sparkster.

Sparkster was a purple earthie type. His colour was very similar to Twilight Sparkle from MLP. Robbie hadn’t been able to get hold of a fluffy exactly like Twilight but Sparkster was pretty close and from a Foal-in-a-Can too!

He was pretty well cared for and he was never disappointed in whatever his Daddeh gave him.

He loved playing with his ball and wrapping himself in his blankets. He loved FluffyTV and he loved Sketties!! In fact he really loved nummies!!

The blockies his Daddeh had bought him he always attempted to chew on. He wished he could play stackie blockies but he just gave them huggies and would attempt to nibble on corners.

He had a large group of friends at the day centre. Every fluffy who attended was his friend. To a fluffy every fluffy is a friend.

Daddeh would treat him with Sketties on a Monday and a Thursday, and kibble for the rest of the week.

He was a pretty good fluffy, easily distracted and sometimes he would miss the litterbox but otherwise he was pretty well-behaved.

To say Sparkster was an average fluffy would be an understatement with only his fur his only outstanding quality.

Robbie didn’t want an average fluffy though he wanted one like Twilight Sparkle.

But those type of fluffies cost more than Foal-in-a-Can. The most valuable Twilight Sparkle type are Alicorns of course, but Robbie wanted a unicorn type to match his preferred version of Twilight.

Sparkster was an Earthie of course and didn’t have the horn or the cutie mark to make him closer to her.

But there’s no problem that can’t be solved by the internet.

Robbie went to a vendor of fluffy accessories online and ordered from a boutique seller (Hasbio are also in the accessory market however their produce is considered bad quality and cheap. Boutique isn’t much better but so goes the illusion of premium).

It took some time to arrive to him but the package was here now. He eagerly opened the box and was satisfied with his purchase. He bulk bought accessories for Sparkster to wear and to be “modified” by.

Hats, scarves, wingies, bells, antlers, a wooly jumper, wigs to replace the mane, waxes, dyes and horns were included.

The accessories were designed to be easily applied to the fluffy (without becoming a permanent part of them), Robbie brought Sparkster over to try them on.

The cutie mark was the first to be applied. It tingled Sparkster and he didn’t exactly like staying still. Robbie promised him some treats if he stayed as he was while trying on his new accessories.

“I’m going to make you the most pretty Twilight, Sparkster”

The fluffy’s eyes lit up with happiness and his tail began to wag, “Spawkstah weawwy be pwetty Daddeh!!”

He wagged his tail and giggled so much he lost bowel control.

Robbie wiped him clean and told him he wasn’t getting a treat now. Sparkster looked heartbroken.

Many horns were tried on. A lot of them were sparkly. Some long, some short, one glowed in the dark, another looked penile. Robbie finally found the perfect horn.

The horn was placed onto Sparkster’s head, he was quite curious about what went onto his head.

“It’s a horn little buddy. You can be just like Twilight Sparkle now.”

Robbie shown Sparkster his reflection. The fluffy looking back had a horn on his head, Robbie assured Sparkster that it was him.

The perplexion turned to confused joy. Somehow Sparkster was a smarty.

“Am……am Smawty Daddeh?”

“No buddy you’re just like Twilight Sparkle”

“…Am Smawty nao?”

Sparkster was overjoyed at this, a new horn atop his head. He hummed delight all night and before he went to sleep. He could be the Smarty to his friends now and play stackie blockies and the hidey gu seekies game. He thanked Daddeh so much for his horn.

The next morning Sparkster was due to go to his day centre and play with his friends. He couldn’t wait to show off his new horn. Daddeh had made him a Smarty. His Daddeh, Robbie, would have the dentist and then work and decided his day wasn’t going to be good.

Sparkster hummed delight. He was smiling and couldn’t wait to see his friends………who didn’t recognise him at first and were becoming even more confused by Sparkster now calling himself Smarty.

They all decided to play along anyway. There was a lot of running and they were all playing herd and save Babbehs from munstahs like on FluffyTV. Sparkster led his herd bravely, he blew up his cheeks and threatened to give stompies to the teddy bears who looked like they wanted to make Babbehs nummies. Babbehs aren’t for nummies! They’re for huggies and Wub and miwkies!!!

They played for a good few hours, Sparkster had grown into his role as Smarty of the nursery herd. He wasn’t sure who he wanted to be his tuffies. In fact, how did smarties choose tuffies? Did they volunteer themselves?! Where they bestest fwends?! Did they magically appear at his side?! He had no idea. Butterbean wanted to be a tuffie! But so did Becky!! And Clover!! And Rudy too!!

So many of his friends wanted to be tuffies.

They began to shout and cry and blow up their cheeks and threaten to give hurties and so many poopies!

Sparkster got bored and decided he wanted to play with the hornie fluffies. He could finally play stackie blockies now he was a smarty.

Cheddar greeted him. And then Bella greeted him. And Buddy did too. They all greeted their new friend and asked him if he wanted to play.

Sparkster’s eyes lit up. Play blockies?! Stackie blockies?! He really loved the blockies.

He sat down and began to observe his friends who had been hugging and stacking the blockies on top of the other. If one fell down it would be picked up and slowly placed back. They all gave each other clappie hoofsies and began to cheer.

Sparkster noticed the block in front of him. He reached out with his front leggies to grip onto it…….but it slipped.

And then it slipped again

And then again too.

He began to chew on the edge of one of the blockies. Had the hornie fluffies played trickies on him with blockies?

He was beginning to feel frustrated.

Angry even.

He attempted a few more times.

And then he heard a giggle.

And then another.

Sparkster blew up his cheeks and looked in the direction of the laughter. Cheddar froze on the spot. Bella began to cry, the smarty was very scary. Buddy ran away crying. Cheddar began to shudder and make poopies.

Sparkster raised his front hoof and hit it against the side of Cheddar’s face. His eye began to bruise and became swollen. He let out a loud wail and sat on his hind legs.

Sparkster wanted to push him and give him more sorry hoofies. He sat down on his hind legs and began to flail his front legs attempting to hit Cheddar. Cheddar did the same back crying out in pain.

Bella made bad poopies and began to cry and wail and cried for the Mummeh who looked after the place. She let out a loud wail and began to hide her eyes from the fighting.

“What the fuck are you two doing?!”

It was Michaela. She was pissed off enough from dealing with clingy ex-boyfriends and a hangover to deal with shitrats crying and being loud. Their voices irritated her to no end. She would’ve been a NEET if it wasn’t for this place keeping her going.

Cheddar stopped flailing and began to reach up for Michaela to give him huggies. He was ignored.

Michaela’s attention was instead focused on Sparkster. Who had blown up his cheeks and began to threaten her with poopies if he didn’t get Sketties and better blockies.

She raised her eye brow and stooped down to his level. She began to glower at him and her angry eyes froze Sparkster in his tracks and tears began to stream down his face. Mummeh was scary.

She then grabbed his tail to which he wailed out aggressively and fired hot diarrhoea all over her hand.

She felt a twitch. She was pissed

Holding him up by his tail with one hand, she used the free hand to slap his testicles like it was a button on a game show.

The little shithead wailed out in so much pain. And yelped and yelped and begged for her to stop.

Shit was coming out of his ass still and was creeping up her arm and going onto her clothes.


Michaela then noticed that Sparkster had never had a horn before. She looked closer………fake. An accessory attached to his head. She picked it off Sparkster’s head to which he then began to wail out more.

He stopped referring to himself as Smarty and back to Sparkster.

He really wanted his horn back to be a smarty again.

Michaela looked around her. He had practically coated the room (and herself) in fluffy shit. She grumbled to herself that no wonder she attracted the bad kind of boyfriend. She was a literal shit magnet.

Sparkster farted and his asshole began to bubble with more liquid crap.

Michaela reacted quickly.

She shoved the horn right into Sparkster’s asshole.


The shit would stop coming out, the problem had been plugged. All fluffy assholes were a problem. This would teach the little asshole not to behave like a fucking smarty ever again.

She threw him in the cage to cool off for a bit.

One of the other attendants picked the horn out from his asshole. It was a thankless job. His poopie place was so hurtie.

Michaela was reprimanded for going a little too far. She was warned but not fired. They couldn’t afford to risk losing her, she had a charm that attracted the young men to actually come and bring their fluffies.

Sparkster was given a toy to cuddle inside the sorry cage. He could hear his friends having a good time without him. He felt really bad about losing his temper like that. He snuggled into Mr CuddlyBear. He gave the bestest Huggies for heart hurties as well as poopie hurties.

At this point he was devastated, he felt like such a bad fluffy. A Dummeh Bad Fluffy.

The horn was cleaned up and wiped down and attached back to his head. He was given his horn back for Daddeh.

Sparkster looked really sad, he was no smarty and he didn’t want to be a bad pfluffy.
He really didn’t want to be a smarty no more and he wished the horn would go away like before.


I too would screech if someone slapped my testicles like they were a bop-it.


pull it. twist it


I laughed so hard at that description XD