"The Cabin in the Woods" by NobodyAtAll

Note: this story takes place after the events of “Hell on Earth”. There are spoilers.


It’s been six months since the Demonic Invasion.

Seeing as the Fondas and Blueberry’s herd live far away from the city, they didn’t really get involved.

That, and Tommy has no offensive powers, so he wouldn’t exactly be much use in that shitstorm.

He probably would have asked the demons if one of them could light his atomica for him.

Tommy Fonda is exactly the kind of person who would get high with a bunch of demons.

Usually, he’s found, the demons don’t show up until after he starts tripping, and only if it’s a bad trip.

Tommy is still supplying the Fluffy Cartel with brownies, by the way. Now that he has an oven, they can be baked on-site.

He tried installing an oven in the Mothership. Maria had to talk him out of it by reminding him of the numerous hazards.

And Blueberry is still the Drug Kingpin of the Forest. He’s still a good smarty. He’s still a good special friend and a good daddeh.


Right now, Tommy, Woodstock and Blueberry are sitting together on the veranda of the Fonda’s cabin.

Maria is in town, running a few errands.

The cabin has got an excellent view of the herd’s area, so they can see everything the fluffies are doing.

Tommy is smoking an atomica, as always, and occasionally giving Blueberry a hit. Occasionally. An atomica is to the average joint what an atomic bomb is to a firecracker. It definitely lives up to the name. But Blueberry has built up a decent tolerance by now, so he can handle a puff on the atomica here or there.

Woodstock’s got a good tolerance too, so he gets a few hits as well.

Since Maria got pregnant, Tommy has been banned from smoking in the cabin, even when Maria’s not inside. Pierre insisted that he take the atomica outside.

But, because Pierre isn’t heartless, he said that Tommy can still smoke in the Mothership.

He also offered to just give them a new vehicle, and when Tommy protested, Pierre said that it didn’t mean that Tommy had to get rid of the Mothership. Pierre reassured Tommy that there is room for Tommy’s soul and, though these aren’t the exact words Pierre used, a vehicle that isn’t a garishly-painted piece of crap on wheels that only starts if you put the key in the ignition just right.

So when Maria has to drive into town, she doesn’t have to feel a bit faded by the time she gets there. And a while back, Pierre had a little talk with the townspeople, about their, ah, negative opinions about interracial relationships. They still don’t like it, but they’re tolerating it, and they aren’t giving the Fondas any shit.

So, like with Dave, it’s a start.

Also, they’re terrified that if they do give the Fondas any shit, the hooded mystery man will come back.

He’s been spotted quite a few times since he had to discourage those abusers from visiting Blueberry’s herd.

Mostly by Crazy Carl, the town’s resident old nutjob.

People have started to believe him.

And Carl’s back on his meds, by the way. Everyone in town is making sure that he takes them. Pierre brought that up too. You know Pierre: when he sees a problem, he cannot ignore it.

These days, Carl isn’t as nutty as he is when he’s off his meds.


Calvin, Judy, Marley, Piccolo and Snowball are all in the area, too. They’re visiting Pierre at his cabin, nearby. He’s introducing them to his other protégé, Dr. Valerie Valentine, who will be taking over his scientific endeavours.

Nikola and Audrey, as promised, moved in with Pierre, and are currently helping the herd out.

Pierre’s other other protégé, the new CEO of FauCorp, is doing a superb job. Pierre has already introduced her to Calvin and Judy. She made it clear that she’ll continue to provide the gang with free swag as Pierre did.

They’re all practically family now.

And, of course, if any of the three protégés need help, or advice, Pierre is there. They can blip in at any time, like Pierre said. As long as they give him a heads up first.

A few more people have blippers now.

Dr. Valentine has good news, too.

She said that she’s finally cracked the P53 problem and they can begin immunising everyone immediately. Humans, fluffies, everyone.

The Cabal was capable of covering up P53’s role in the riots. So the secret of P53’s influence on humans was kept under wraps for just long enough to avert the Apocalypse.

The future has changed. And hopefully, it’ll be a good one.


Cal, Judy, their fluffies, Pierre and Valerie walk over to Tommy’s cabin.

Cal, true to form, immediately sits down with Tommy, who passes the atomica to him.

After a few puffs, Cal, always a bro, passes the atomica around.

Judy declines, because she, like Maria, is pregnant. Judy decides to blip home with Snowball, and see how Seth, Andre and Dave are doing. They’re helping get the nursery ready.

Teleportation is perfectly safe, even when you’re pregnant.

Dave was the first one to volunteer. Everyone was surprised.

Judy and Maria are both coming along nicely, by the way.

Valerie declines too, because she’s got to get back to the lab, and she likes to keep her head clear when she’s working. It’s Pierre’s old lab. He said it was all hers now. She said that he could have cleaned up a bit beforehand, and he chuckled. Valerie blips out too.

When the atomica is passed to Pierre, he pauses.

After a few moments, he takes it, and sits down too.

“What the Hell, why not? I’m retired.

So, Tommy, Pierre, Cal, Woodstock, Blueberry, Marley, and Piccolo all sit down together, get high, and talk about old times and new chances.

In the distance, the Death of Fluffies watches them, and smiles.

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