Steve da sawcastic fwuffy (by recreationalsadist)

Steve was so much smarter than the average fluffy that no comparable example among humanity existed.

He understood sarcasm and could use it!

And now that he was fully-grown he was ready to use his intelligence for his own gain. All it would take was demonstrating his genius to a human and he’d be set for life.

Eagerly walking out of the alley that had been his home for all his life, Steve approached the first human he saw.

“Be nyu daddeh, nice mistah?”

The obviously well-off man looked down at him.

“I do have room for a fluffy in my life. My old one died. Do you want to come home with me?”

Steve rolled his eyes and said sarcastically:

“Nu, Steve wan nyu daddeh tu cut off Steve’s weggies, nu-nu stick, an tawnkie-thing!”

Before Steve could make it clear he was being sarcastic he found himself scooped up.

“This is the best day ever!” exclaimed the pillowfluffer, “I finally found a fluffy who knows what every fluffy needs to be happy! No legs! And I can take your tongue and penis right now. Don’t worry, I have the resources to keep you alive for years and years!”

He pulled out a pair of sharp scissors and held Steve’s mouth open as the fluffy desperately struggled.

Author’s Note: This was inspired by @BFM101 's latest Josef story about him trying to get it through to pillowfluffers that fluffies don’t like being pillowed.

Also yeah, Steve’s going to suffer for years with no legs, tongue, or penis. But he will have his testicles so he’ll be constantly tormented by his desire for sex but have no way of relieving that pain. His owner will make a blog dedicated to him, not realizing that he’s suffering no matter how many times people post in the comments on how obvious it is.


PillowPal: “My Fluffy Stevie has been acting up lately, I thought it was because he was getting use to his new home but now he keeps showing me his testicles. They do look quite swollen, could he have caught something?”

SithHappens77: “Yes actually, I believe he’s got a case of Dumb Fuck Owner you absolute jerk-off. How about I cut off your dick and see how your balls handle it.”

PillowPal: “No, that can’t be it, pillowfluffs don’t feel the need for sexual release since all their energy is conserved for their owners happiness.”

SithHappens77: “I fucking can’t with you people.”


Pillowpal: “My fluffy Stevie somehow stole one of my razors and accidentally cut his own throat. Luckily I found him in time and was able to save him. He’s so accident-prone for a pillowfluffy. Like those times he repeatedly accidentally drank rat poison, accidentally hurled himself off my desk into my paper shredder, or the one time he accidentally spent hours tying a makeshift noose and almost hanged himself after having accidentally written ‘wan die’ on a piece of paper.”

SithHappens77: “My hatred for you knows no bounds.”


Things Josef Hates:

1: His Father

2: Pillowfluffers

3: Rise Of Skywalker.

In that order.


Damn, I really must be a fake fan, I STILL haven’t seen RoS. Is it really that bad?


For a final film in both a trilogy and a Saga, it pulls so much shit out of its ass and chucks it at a script of bad writing and unearned victories.

So not really a fan


somehow, palpatines returned


It’s got one good scene, but it’s not worth watching.
Just watch the “More of us” scene on YouTube.

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what, you mean you didnt like the part where the protagonists went to a hundred different planets in the first 30 minutes?


And I thought my protagonists could move fast. I’m gonna have to up my game. In the next Saga, Cal goes to two hundred planets in fifteen minutes!

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please don’t tell me they somehow defeat him with the power of friendship and plot armor

Nah, it’s through the power of all the Jedi combined.