Be Anon, a typical suburbanite in a typical American city.
It’s a quiet Saturday afternoon in the fall.
You’re watching a game on the TV.
Fluffy pony is on the floor playing with her ball.
The “sorry stick” is by your chair. The magazine if full.
More on that later. Let’s just say that the law’s reach is a long one.
Halftime. Your team is down by 3, but there’s still a good chance they can make it up.
You get up to get a beer. Consider getting some apple juice for fluffy while you’re at it.
You look over at fluffy pony. Her ball is present. Fluffy is not.
You glance out the sliding glass door to the back yard.
Fluffy pony is on the deck. she’s looking over the side and chattering excitedly.
You pick up the “sorry stick” and slip the strap over one shoulder.
Open the door and step out. You aren’t making any attempt to be quiet.
Fluffy doesn’t seem to have heard you.
“Wuv nuu fwend! Wan pway. Fwuffy go geh baww. Ask daddah giv nummies.”
TYhere’s a dirty grey and brown fluffy stallion standing just below the deck. This would be the “nuu fwend”.
You cough loudly. Fluffy still hasn’t a clue.
You unsling the sorry stick. There’s a loud “SHRACK-SHRACK!” as you work the priming handle.
Fluffy turns around quickly, staring at the length of yellow and orange plastic in terror. She quickly runs inside screaming and hides behind your chair.
“NUUUU! Fwuffy be gud!! Fwuffy be gud!! Nuu wan sorry!!”
Simple, yet effective.
“Nuu fwend’ is not impressed however.
He puffs his cheeks and begins stomping the grass.
Three more fluffy ponies scuttle out from under the deck.
Figures. Where there’s one, there more.
“Go way, Munsta, or herd giv big owwies!”
Not a wise move.
You take a firing position and aim the sorry stick.
SHRACK CLACK-CLACK SHRACK CLACK-CLACK SHRACK CLACK-CLACK
Three rubber tipped foam darts hit the smarty squarely on the nose.
He plops down and stares cross-eyed at the them for a second or two and then begins screaming bloody murder.
The herd panics and bolts for the gate.
You go down and collect your darts before heading back inside, making sure that the sliding door is properly closed and locked.
Fluffy is behind the chair cowering.
Halftime is still going. You go and grab that beer and resume your seat.
When it comes to sorry sticks, it’s Nerf or nothing.