"Into the Calvin-Verse" Part 5 by NobodyAtAll

Part 4

We keep on fighting the vampires, thinning their numbers.


“This would be a lot easier if the others were here!”


“Yu fink dey am dun wif doze dee-muns, daddeh?”


“I hope so, Mar!”

"Enf! Enf! Enf! Enf! Enf!"

“Nuuuuhuuhuu! Stawp! Swayew nu wike bad sewf speciaw huggies!”

Narcissus would be proud.

Several streets away, the hordes of Calvins close in the four nephilim and the two demon hunters.

Chris and Amy prepare to make their last stand.

“Fuck it. We got our revenge.”

“But it’s not over, Chris.”

Klaus smiles at his brother.

"You two run. Go back to the others. We’ll hold these assholes off."

“Are you sure, bro?”

Future Marley lands.

"We nu can gu foweba sweepies. Yu can. Nao gu."


As the two demon hunters flee through an alleyway, the Calvins attempt to intervene.


They’re stopped by jets of holy fire.

As Jack and I slash and stab vampires, and Alpha stakes them, I spot Chris and Amy coming out of an alleyway, armed with silver swords.

Then I spot something golden out of the corner of my eye, flying down towards us.

It grabs Alpha and flies off with him.

“What the-- let go!”

“Oh no you don’t!”

I fly after them.

As I catch up, I see what the golden thing is.


I point the Sword of Kings at the golden Caldroid.


It doesn’t harm the Caldroid, but it lets go of Alpha.

Alpha flies up next to me, as the Caldroid turns to face us.

"How dare you interfere, Cal. This is between us Caldroids."

Alpha glares at his counterpart.

“Don’t you ever call me that again. My name is Alpha. And I’ve got a question for you.”

"Fire away."

“You do know that you’re still Hans’ bitch, right? He programmed you to be a killing machine. You’re just his pawn.”

The Caldroid shrugs.

"I know. I just don’t care. My Calvin gave me that whole speech too. I just broke his neck and killed all of his friends."

“Damn. I was hoping that would work. I hate to say this, but it’s time for the trump card.”

Alpha turns to me.

“You brought them, right Cal?”

“Oh yeah.”

"Brought what-- oh, I get it! Nope, THAT ain’t happening!"

The Caldroid flies at us.

And is intercepted by Marley, in steel ball form.


As the Caldroid is sent flying away, Marley reverts to normal form and turns to us.

“Nu tawkies time! Wut am da pwan?!?”

I pull a transparent case out of my bag of holding.

Containing all seven of our timeline’s Omega Drives.

“The plan is; we give Alpha time to install these, and then we run like buggery.

“I really hate having to use those things again.”

Just before slamming into the dome covering the entire sector, the Caldroid comes to a stop.

In the distance, where it was before Marley slammed into it, it sees something that glows in all the colors of the rainbow.

The Caldroid starts flying towards it.


The colors coalesce into white.

Then into gold.

Just as the Caldroid gets there, it’s punched in the face by a fist just as golden as its own.



As the light fades, Alpha is revealed in all his golden glory, the only difference between his appearance and his counterpart’s now being the ChaotiX logo on his chest.

"Let’s get this shit over with. I want these damn Drives OUT of me."

As Alpha begins his mirror match with his counterpart, me and Marley fly over the streets, heading to the big building at the heart of the citadel.

I call Erwin on my COMP. The Omega Buster has one built-in.

“Erwin! Alpha needs some help! He’s fighting his counterpart! Time to put that suit to use!”

“I’m on it!”

He hangs up.

That’s taken care of. Time to knock the king off the board.”

“It am gunna be check an mate, daddeh.”

In the room with the tall table, CQK-1897 carries one of the recent acquisitions into the room.

A throne made of iron swords. CQK-1897 is an Omega and a vampire, he can lift that thing like it’s made of Nerf swords.

CQK-9891, now wearing the contents of the hat box, beams at his vampiric counterpart.

“Ay, you got it!”

“It wasn’t that hard. People in that timeline die real easily. I dunno how there was anyone left when I portaled in.”

He places the throne in the middle of the room, and CQK-9891 sits in it.

“Ooh, nice and cozy.”

M-9890 flies over and lands in his daddeh’s lap.

“Nao wut?”

“Now we wait, Mar. I bet my twin has gotten sick of playing our game. He’s on his way. Vampire Me, go bring those canisters. I just got comfy.”

“You got it, Boss.”

CQK-1897 flies up to the table, and brings the two canisters down, placing them next to the throne.

CQK-9891 grins as insanely as he always does, and so does M-9890.

“I can’t wait to bust those things out, Mar.”

“Wut happund tu dat mistah wif da funee nu-fwuff?”

“By now, I think my twin’s probably killed him. Does it really matter?”

“Nu. Nu, it nu matt-uw.”

“That’s right. None of this matters.”

“Might as well tear it all down, Boss.”

“Exactly, Vampire Me. Now go help your clan.”

“Can I drop a Legion on them, Boss?”

“In the Citadel? Are you nuts, Vampire Me?”

“We aww am nuts, daddeh.”

“Ha! That’s true, Mar! But seriously, no Legion Bombs in the Citadel, Vampire Me.”

“Fine. I’m hungry, anyway.”

CQK-1897 turns into a bat and flies out.

CQK-9891 takes out a spliff.

“We’ve got some time to kill.”

“Su tu speek. Dewe nu am time hewe, wike daddeh sed.”

“Again, that’s true.”

Part 6