You feel lonely so you decide to buy a hategoat, a most vile and hated creature in the world
Walk over to the Hategoat Emporium, a store that specializes in selling these disgusting creatures
The smell of shit hits you as you open the door, revealing walls full of cages with shit splatters reaching all the way across the hallway
Shrill screams emanate from the cages around you
“FUCK YOU HUMAN!”
“FUCK YOU AND ADOPT ME!"
“TAKE ME HOME AND I’LL SHIT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE!”
Try to make it across the room without getting shat on, failing as the goats spray you with feces from meters away
Finally make it across to find an employee beating a hategoat with a punishment baton
“Stop shitting on me!”
“Stop shitting on me or I’ll fucking kill you!”
“FUCK YOU ILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING ASS!"
Watch patiently as the man beats the goat until it goes silent
“Sorry about that. Training hategoats is hard work, and sometimes they’re just immune to it.”
You say it’s okay, buying a hategoat and 200$ worth of hategoat supplies.
Skip forward three years
Youre arriving home and open your door. once again finding your house completely smeared with shit
Your hategoat rushes to you and immediately starts shitting on your legs
“FUCK YOU DAD! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR HOUSE!”
You sigh. grabbing the punishment baton with practiced routine and start beating your goat
“Stop shitting everywhere! Fucking stop that!”
“Stop saying that or I’ll fucking kill you!”
“FUCK YOU BITCH! YOU CAN’T DO FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!”
You beat your hategoat until it goes silent, sighing as you hang the punishment baton back on the wall
Owning a hategoat is hard work, but after a beating like that it should behave for the rest of the afternoon
You spend the rest of the day scrubbing shit off your furniture like you’ve done every day for the past three years.
You’re shopping at the Hategoat Emporium for a crapper comrade
Hategoats will shit anywhere but the designated crapper crate, so buying them a quadruple amputee to torment is the only way to get them to shit where you want them to.
Fucking psychotic, evil creatures. Their every action is an affont to justice, making your blood boil just thinking about it.
Anyway, you pick up a crapper comrade and bring it home for your pet hategoat to torture right in your own house.
”Please sir! This isn’t right, you know this isn’t right!” the crapper comrade pleads
”SHUT THE FUCK UP!” you yell, smacking it across the face. Goddamn you can’t stand it when these soulles creatures accost you with their selfish demands!
”FUCK YOU DAD! EAT SHIT AND DIE!” your hategoat yells, shitting on your leg one more time before turning to face its crapper comrade with an evil glint in its eyes.
You step back and leave the hategoats to themselves.
You enjoy a well-earned break from dealing with hategoats, with crying and screams of pain letting you know that the crapper comrade is taking the brunt of your hategoat’s cruelty for today.
Eventually, everything goes silent and your blood-covered hategoat walks up to you.
”CRAPPER COMRADE IS FUCKING DEAD! I FUCKING KILLED IT! AND THEN I RAPED IT’S FUCKING CORPSE!”
You sigh and head back to the Hategoat Emporium for a new crapper comrade.
You are an owner of a pregnant hategoat doe.
She got pregnant when the other hategoats at the daycare raped her, nearly beating her to death in the progress.
You specifically pay the daycare to keep things like this from happening, but somehow they stay in business despite simply leaving all the bloodthirsty hategoats into one unsupervised rape-pen.
Weeks pass, and your hategoat bloats.
She’s yelling at you nonstop, demanding lasagna and shitting everywhere, but that’s okay because it’s because of hormones this time.
Eventually, the big day comes.
You rush in, seeing your hategoat squeeze out three kids.
”YOU’RE THE BEST KID!” she yells as she licks a white kid clean.
The other white kid turns around and squirts a spray of diarrhea right into her eyes.
”FUCK YES YOU’RE THE BEST KID NOW!” she says, throwing the first kid aside and proceeding to lick her new favorite kid.
It makes sense that a patently selfish animal that would murder anyone at the drop of the hat loves the baby that mistreats her the most.
Finally she licks her black kid clean and gives it enough milk to keep it alive, but then punches it for seemingly no reason.
”Hey! Why did you do that?”
”BECAUSE IT’S BLACK! FUCK BLACKS! WHITE POWER!”
You sigh. It’s well known that hategoats are racists, so it’s surprising that you’re now somehow surprised by it.
It makes perfect sense though. Genes’R’Us programmed them to hate black goats to save money on getting rid of them.
Having a worker pick up and toss out black kids once per litter would be much more costly than dedicating part of their living children’s toys genetic programming solely to hatecrimes.
This way they just have to pick up and toss out the dead black kids instead, along with washing their blood from the pen and their doe’s furs.
It’s all worth it though, as no one would ever want a black hategoat.
”Goddam bitch! I want a black hategoat!” you yell.
”FUCK YOU DAD! KILL ALL BLACKS! KILL THEM ALL!”
You grab the punishment baton and beat the everloving shit out of her. When she goes quiet you decide that her racism is cured and it’s safe to leave her alone with the black kid again.
You walk out of the room when you’re surprised by the sounds of violence emanating from the saferoom.
You turn around, gasping with utter shock as you see your hategoat beating its black kid once again. This change of events took you completely by surprise!
”Fucking stop that!” you yell, brandishing the punishment baton at her.
”FUCK YOU DAD! KILL ALL BLACKS!”
”Stop that or I’ll beat you dead!”
”You watched me beat my last hategoat to death! Now stop mistreating your black kid or I’m gonna kill you too!”
”I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! I’M GONNA KILL THIS FUCKING NIG-”
You interrupt your hategoat with a flurry of blows, not stopping until her body is reduced to chunky salsa.
Her severed head is still trying to mouth insults until it stops moving for good.
You then break the legs of her white kids and skin them alive, because justice.
You raise the black kid until it starts to speak.
”Want to… RAPE AND KILL! RAPE AND FUCKING KILL ALL THE WHITE GOATS! KILL ALL WHITES! BLACK POWER!”
You hug your new best friend. Such a nice pet with a solid sense of justice!