Fluffy Control on Patrol by DayBurgerBob

My first story, which is rather a short one. Forgive my English it is not my mother tongue. Tell me if I should add or remove tags or do something else.

Onto the story…

It was Bobby’s first day on a Fluffy patrol. He had joined the local Fluffy Control after he was Shanghai’d and didn’t know where he was. Originally he had planned to work in a hotel but was given an opportunity to join the Fluffy Control. He had heard from captain Wiggles that the city had been fluffy-free for two months. As Bobby inspected an alley behind an Italian restaurant he didn’t expect to hear the tune of a mummah song.

“Mummah wuv babbehs, babbehs wuv mummah. Babbehs dwink miwkies, gwow up big an stwong.”

Slightly startled Bobby peeked into the alley. He saw a host of different colors. Few big and many small. A herd. A fucking herd. “Captain Wiggles, sir. I’ve spotted a herd.” Bobby spoke into his radio. A rough static voice answered. “A herd? How many? Did you see a smarty?” “About two dozen. I see a unicorn approaching me. Probably the smarty” As Bobby was trying to speak the fluffy already puffed his cheeks and tried to look big.

“Dis am smawty herd box, smawty herd nummies an smawty wand! Dummeh daddyh go way ow get wowstes huwties.” The smarty declared. He was light blue with a dark purple mane. He was coated in a layer of dirt, like the rest of his herd.

“It is a smarty. How should I proceed?” Bobby asked through the radio. “Offer it a warm house and spaghetti. Stall it, I’ll be there with the van.” answered captain Wiggles. Bobby began to promise the herd spaghetti and warm houses and toys and whatever else a fluffy could want. Meanwhile Wiggles took the Fluffy Control van near the alley and suited up. He had experienced “sowwy poopies” and never wanted to experience them again. While Bobby was sating the fluffies’ questions Wiggles emerged behind him. He didn’t wear the protective hooded mask since it could scare the fluffies, though the alley was a dead end.

“Hewwo fluffies. I am your new daddeh. Upsies!” Wiggles said. Cringing and slowly dying on the inside. But he knew talking like a fluffy calmed them and promises of a warm house and spaghetti was like giving them the keys to Eden.

Bobby was struck back. He in all three days of knowing Wiggles had never imagined him to speak like a moron, nay, like a fluffy. It was mind blowing seeing a robust man with a mighty mustache and an eye patch talking like a fluffy.

“Gib upsies to smawty fiwst.” the smarty insisted. Wiggles complied and took him to the van. Bobby decided to try capturing a fluffy. He took a red stallion by the scruff. “Bad upsies! Stwabewwy gib sowwy poopies!” Bobby was shook. The stallion released a stream of liquid shit on him. Without thinking much he took the stallion by the legs and smashed his head onto a wall. A loud snap could be heard. Rest of the herd didn’t seem to care. Wiggles took the dead stallion from Bobby’s hand and threw it into the van’s trash. Bobby then realized what had happened and almost threw up. “There, there. It happens to the best of us.” Wiggles comforted him. Then Bobby noticed that the herd hadn’t reacted to the stallion’s brutal execution. A pegasus was regaling the other fluffies about the grandness of a warm house, tv and spaghetti. The other fluffies were mesmerized. “Let’s not repeat that, eh.” Wiggles said before giving more upsies to the herd. They placed them within plastic containers. After loading all the remaining fluffies into the containers they took the herd’s nest of boxes into the van and placed it with the red stallion. The herd totaled three mares, one pegasus mare, one smarty unicorn stallion and a fourteen foals. The pegasus’ container was getting cramped.

“This is good news. One of the lab’s heads was pestering me about bringing them a smarty.” Wiggles told to Bobby. “The lab?” Bobby asked. “I’ll tell you on the way back.” Wiggles responded while starting the car. Sounds of “metaw munstah!” and “scawedy poopies” could be heard from the back. Neither of the men cared as they drove off.

Anyway I’ve got some plans where this story could go. Focused more on the lab aspect with some worldbuilding.


I wonder what they are going to do to the smarty.

Hopefully not put its brain in a killer robot. That’s a really bad idea.


Nothing that severe or innovative. Just the usual sciency stuff. Poking it with a stick and seeing what makes it tick. Since Hasbio lost most of it’s research alongside the original incomplete fluffies. Which were then pushed into the market.

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Nice start , what got me is the red stallion didnt have any reaction to them even he got killed? Any reason?

Hope to see the next part.


The reason in the story was that the herd was distracted by one of it’s members. A runaway fluffy telling the other members about the luxuries that were to come from a warm house etc.
Real reason was lazy 3am writing.

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