DON'T EAT RAW FLUFFIES! (by Newb_ronswek)

norawfluffies

43 Likes

But I wish to eat their pain…

10 Likes

Typical FDA warning. That said, eating them whole like that is stupid. That guy is asking for a mouthful of poop.

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Yeah, that’s a reference that whole “make the guy doing the wrong thing look as dumb as possible” thing that some real PSAs do.

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Because, sadly, that dumb person isn’t actually as uncommon as you’d like to think.

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Cape does not allow user to fly

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I have nibbled on raw chicken while waiting for the oven to preheat. I routinely eat raw beef while waiting for the oven to preheat. I eat food off the nasty as floor, with the dirt and debris stuck to it. I once drank a 2L of Pepsi I found in the trash at a City Park. I’ve eaten taquitos from 7/11 that were sitting in my car overnight. No I did not reheat them.

Basically. If none of that killed me I doubt a fluffy would

/humblebrag for gut of titanium.

5 Likes

We eat raw fish here fairly regularly (sushi, poke, sashimi, etc). But its very fresh, inspected for worms/parasites, etc. I’ve had raw liver in Japan (good), and I know a guy who had uma (horse) sashimi before. And of course, steaks being medium rare is my preference.

That said, I still wouldn’t eat a live fluffy butt first.

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There are many excellent ways to prepare, and even dine upon, live fluffy meat, but raw-dogging it is just asking for problems. Do you know just how many people got MRSA from sorry poopies last year alone? The overwhelming majority got it in the mouth.

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Duh. Just eat from the other end.

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boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew

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fifteen biwds in five fiw twees,
theiw feathews wewe fanned in a fieweh bweeze.
but funneh wittwe biwds - dwey had nu wings.
oh, what shaww we du with da funneh wittwe things?
oh, what shaww we du with da funneh wittwe things?

woast them awive ow stew 'em in a pot!
fweh them, boiw them, eat them hot?
bake 'em! toast 'em! fweh 'em! woast 'em
tiww beawds bwaze an’ eyes gwaze;
tiww haiw swewws an’ skins cwack,
fat mewts an’ bones bwack
in cindews wie beneath da sky!
su da dwawves shaww die! (ha ha ha…)

fifteen biwds in five fiw twees,
theiw feathews wewe fanned in a fieweh bweeze.
but funneh wittwe biwds - dwey had nu wings.
oh, what shaww we du with da funneh wittwe things?
oh, what shaww we du with da funneh wittwe things?

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We do not want another global pandemic, please…

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OH MY GOD!!!
Rankin-Bass!!!
:heart::nerd_face::heart:

1 Like

Please do not consume raw chicken or pork.

0e1

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I like my fluffies deep fried, sometimes sautéed, if the mood calls for it grilled with the finest herbs and spices.

2 Likes

Missed opportunity for a LOTR reference in the second paragraph

1 Like