Classic Style Fluffy Pony Stories - Vanner

  • Head canon piling up?
  • Can’t get your murder boner up without copious amounts of foal torture?
  • Sadbox not enough till your weeping at the one legged fluffy making it on his own?

Enjoy then, from the depths of the Vanner Archives, some old school green-text style fluffy stories. Short vignettes featuring fluffies abusing realty, and vice versa. Grammar optional.

Chores
fluffy pony is bored
starts knocking things over, making you mad
get the sorry stick
“no sowwy stick! no sowwy stick!”
fluffy pony flips onto back, flails helplessly against sorry stick
swat fluffy pony across kitchen
notice clean streak where fluffy pony slid
idea!
fluffy still crying
“Hold on to the sorry stick,” you tell fluffy pony
“no sowwy stick!” she bawls
you yell at her again to hold onto the stick
she takes the stick, fearful of what you’ll do next
mop the floor with fluffy pony
tears and fluff make it the cleanest it’s ever been
fluffy pony stumbles away, walking into walls on her way back to safe room

Fasta!
adopt fluffy pegasus
can’t fly, but loves to run as fast as she can
it’s like three miles an hour
always saying “go fasta!” as she runs
she loves car rides
hangs her head out the window screaming “WAN GO FASTA!”
Take fluffy pegasus to the race track
cute little helmet and safety harness
200 mph around the track
she’s giggling like a maniac, shrieking “go fasta!”
no idea how to make pony go faster
scientist friend invites you to watch rocket car test
bring fluffy along, she would enjoy it
the next day
rockets are loud and scary, but they “go fasta!”
strap fluffy into rocket car
all you hear is “GO FASTAAAAaaaaaa!” as it disappears into the distance
first fluffy to break the sound barrier
fluffy come back with thousand yard stare
“dat too much fasta”

Moon
chillin’ outside at night with your fluffy pony
fluffy pony looks up in the sky, sees the moon
“wat dat?” she asks.
"it’s the moon
“pwetty moon?” she asks.
“sure is.”
“go moon?” she asks
“no moon. too far.”
fluffy pony starts jumping at the moon, screaming and carrying on
“WAN MOON! WAN MOON!”
fluffy pony goes into safety room to calm down
few days pass
things going missing from kitchen
Pots, pans, cookie sheets
fishbowl goes missing
did that pony eat my fish?
ask fluffy pony about missing things
“dun know” she says
fluffy ponies aren’t smart enough to lie, don’t worry about it
that night, fluffy pony wants out to play
figure she’s forgotten about the moon, go out to play
fluffy pony plays outside for a few minutes before running behind shed.
chase after fluffy pony
she built a rocket ship out of cookware behind the shed
her head is in the fishbowl
“go moon!” she cries
lights fuse on rocket
oh shit
duck and cover
rocket flies pretty straight, actually
fluffy pony disappears into the night with cries of “go moon!”
find yourself saluting
“godspeed, fluffy pony”

Fluffy Ponies Watch TV
it’s the middle of summer and hot as hell outside
turn on air conditioner to cool house and fluffy pony
still hot
watch some Christmas movies to think cooler
watching die hard with fluffy pony
go to get popsicles for you and fluffy pony
hear a clunk from the living room
rush back in, fluffy pony is gone and the air return is open
thumping coming from the ducts
hear fluffy pony yelling
“I’m bwuce wiwwis!”
“yippie kay ay aye muthuh fw…”
fluff sprays from every vent in the house

Fluffy Ponies Watch TV II
black and white fluffy ponies are watching “Quest for the holy grail” while you derp around on the internet
suddenly, crying from the couch
The black fluffy pony is beating up on the white fluffy pony
“I fwench! Why yoo tink I haf dis owtwagous accent!”
yell at black fluffy pony.
bad fluffy who beat up their friends get sorry stick
“no sowwy stick! I sowwy! no sowwy stick!”
huggies for good white fluffy pony
huggies make everything better
go back to the internet
typing on the computer, you realize your fingernails are filthy
reach for pocket knife to clean them
it’s not there
screaming from the living room
rush in to discover the black fuzzy ponies legs have been cut off
blood everywhere
“why no weggies? wan weggies! no wan boo boo juice!”
white fluffy pony drops your knife
“We caw it a dwaw, bwack knight.”

Fluffy Ponies Watch TV III
Let fluffy ponies watch Frankenstein
fluffy ponies are scared witless by “scawy munster”
put ponies away in safe room to calm down
raining that night
thunder and lightning
check on safe room to make sure fluffies are okay
fluffy ponies are nowhere to be found, probably hiding
hear something from up in the attic
grab baseball bat, prepare to defend house against raccoons
open attic for find fluffy pony shoving wires into neighbor’s dead fluffy pony
“wiv! WIV!”
Other fluffy pony holding a pole out the window
ohshit
blinding lightning, deafening thunder
burnt fluff makes for terrible attic insulation

Fluffy Ponies Watch TV IV
It’s two AM
hear TV is on
walk downstairs
fluffy ponies fumbling with remote to turn it off
“Are fluffy ponies allowed to watch TV? this late at night?” you ask
“i sowwy! no sowwy stick! pwease no sowwy stick!”
swat both fluffies a few times with the sorry stick to help them remember
toss them back to safe room
Next morning open up safe room
fluffy pony is dead with his insides torn out
other pony is covered in blood
what the fuck were they watching?
“I eated his wiveh wif a nice sketti!”
she blows a raspberry
jesus christ

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