Vincent seethed for a moment before taking a deep breath and thinking about the best way to go about this. He looked down at Coal’s brother, a unicorn as well but a more grey colour with a red mane.
“You, you’re Coal’s brother right?”
“Dat wight Smawty.”
“Yeah, yeah. Do you have a name?”
“Ok then, I’m going to name you Slate and…”
“Swate hab namesie, fank yu Smawty, dis am bestesh bwite-time of Swate…”
“LISTEN! As I was saying, I’m naming you, and ONLY you, because I am naming you the new Smarty, this is your herd now. Are you up for that task?”
Slate pondered for a second, before puffing up his chest and nodding. “Swate…um… Smawty am weady tu be, uh, Smawty.”
“Good, now as my final act as the old Smarty, I have one final task I want you to do. I want you to take this herd and leave this land, this is not safe for Fluffies and bad things will happen to all of you if you stay here.”
Slate shuddered as his imagination went into overdrive. “O…ok owd Smawty, ny… nyu Smawty wead hewd a…away.”
“Good boy, now off you go.”
Slate gulped as he took his new position at the head of the herd, Vincent could see the his little grey body trembling with fear, that is until Coal’s mate saddled up beside him and nuzzled into Slate’s neck.
“Coo, wub nyu Smawty, wan be speciaw-fwiends.”
The confidence boost from his brother’s old mate was enough to spur Slate into action
Slate knew what his position of Smarty demanded and what his herd needed.
Slate glared up at Vincent and stomped his hooves.
“Dummeh Hoomin! Dis am Smawty wand nyo!”
Vincent stared and his face fell.
Slate started shouting.
“DUMMEH HOOMIN! GIB SKETTIES AN TOYSIES AN WAWM HOUSIES OW SMAWTY GIB YOU BIGGESHT HUWTIES!”
Vincent held the last surviving member of the herd up to his face.
“Okay, so you know what happened to all the other Smarties who tried to steal my land?”
The fluffy glanced around at the gory remains of the rest of the herd. Every single time Vincent declared a fluffy the new Smarty that fluffy immediately tried to claim his land. A this point he was just acting out of morbid curiosity.
“Yesh, pwease nu gib huwties Hoomin Smawty.”
“Okay, so if I told you that you were the Smarty now you would say?”
“Fwuffy Smawty nyo?..PUT SMAWTY DOWNSIES, DIS AM SMAWTY WAND NYO!”
Vincent ripped the last fluffy in half like a phonebook, tossed it’s remains in the corpse pile, and lit a cigarette.
He then pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
“Hello, Ricky? I’ve got a pile of bodies on my lawn if you want to go parts-hunting.”
“What, no! They’re not Human remains. They’re fluffy corpses.”
“No, I’m not going to inspect them to see if they’ve got intact dicks. I don’t care if it’ll help you get in your crush’s pants if you fully repair her fluffy.”